Scripts of the Revenant

i have moved

2007-05-17T15:08:00.000-05:00

and it's not like me to feel so important
and it's not like me to go and wreck your day
and i never thought i'd see it so exploited
ah, but i know that somethin' bad has gotta change
~ggd

from the same bad writer of this blog, comes another sometimes funny blog! come join me here. or is it here? be there or be square. "we'll be there like shareware" good ol strong bad's teen girl squad.

p.s. i will be updating the pic at the top periodically.

p.p.s. click meet me. it has a hilarious pic.

pipe

2007-05-07T18:17:00.001-05:00

i feel the distance standing here next to you
i don't want to keep you waiting,
but i've been waiting too
some day if i get there
and you still want me too
we can see it through
~evan and jaron

the other day i was in wencleslas square. just looking about. it is really nice. and when i get my camera all charged up- i will take pictures of it and post them about. but the pipe is nice. the british store owner told me that it was hand carved- he gave me a great deal too. the pipe is a stansislav. a name from this side of the world for sure.

the pipe reminds me of chaplain russel who used to call me pip. what fun. i called him chappy once. that night he threw me into four guys walking behind us in pearce hall. what a guy.

trams coming!

2007-05-04T11:30:00.000-05:00

slowly discarded were the remains of his lonely youth
among the alley where the dwellers scare to notice
picture a young boy in pieces and streets with leveled malfunctions
no name to be called redeemer
we'll fix him restore him...with the love is no other
think of all the things you did before
write them in a letter that says reborn
~coheed & cambria

after i was done watching spiderman 3, i walked to the tram stop so that i could hop on my tram and let it make my way home. on my way i ran into a man who was professionally dressed, that is to say he was wearing a suit, and who was professionally drunk. he was trying to catch my attention. i told him that i do not speak much czech- but he assured me that he spoke american. i know- i did not bother telling him that it is english.

he was a nice enough guy, but he was a bit too drunk for my attention- until he started to yell. he said, 'my friend we must crush the communists!' i told him i thought that they were all gone. he put his hands on my shoulders and told me that he needs to make me understand that at any time we must crush the communists. i agreed, because i was not really wanting to hear him yell about. i saw my tram and told him that i needed to get going.

i missed that tram because the stop was a bit farther than i thought it was going to be. but i knew that there would be another one in due time. as i waited for number twenty-two, number nine showed up. the doors open, like they do, people got off, the doors closed. a girl came running up and tried pushing the doors frantically. (i have been told that the trams stop at midnight- and it was about 23:45, i was doubtful that number nine would come again until morning.) so i gave the door a really hard hit on the hinges and it flew open. i do not think that it is common place for them to do so as i judge the wide-eyed stares from the people on the tram, people at the stop waiting for other trams, and the girl who quickly turned at me, hopped on the tram and smiled awkwardly. just trying to help.

and now to spiderman 3. they were trying to cram too much in too little time. and if you know the comic- the venom suit makes peter parker a bit of a jerk. in the movie he seemed really pissed off all of the time when he had the suit. but i would have been pissed off too- see his haircut was atrocious when he was 'bad ass' peter parker. i would have gotten rid of that suit as soon as i could if i knew it was going to turn my hair into the worse style imaginable.

orko?

2007-05-01T17:33:00.000-05:00

you will know it's me
just enough to see the sun
i'm holding your hands
~t de a

to-day was a great day. i met some damn sammys living her in the czech republic. i was invited to their get together. apparently this tuesday marked a holiday. most people had off from work. lukas said that it is something about burning witches. right...

well, we went to dejvicka, and not far from there was a great park. oddly enough just a short walk away from a macdonald's. kind of odd. even more odd was that morgan spurlock was chowing down on a big mac. but, hey- come on, sometimes you just have to.

we threw the football around, which might have made us stand out as americans. well, that or the frisbee. and if those items did not catch the attention of the czech people- our baseball game did. some people just sat and watched. it was fun- we just kept taking turns until everyone had hit a few balls.

so... then it was my turn. i love baseball. not so much on t.v., but i love playing it. i have an ability to crush the ball. it was home-run after home-run. boy do i love hitting things. i mean playing baseball... nice save.

and i got a job contact. a very nice guy gave me his email so that i could give him my cv so that he could see if his company would like to hire another american. it would be swell if they did. nothing says, 'i'm staying,' like a job. well, i could think of a few ways. and this guy would help me. or this guy. i mean, really- orko could sell anything. by the way- what the hell is orko? anyone?

well, all this old cartoon stuff is making me want to download an episode of bananas in pajamas.

that's right- what of it?

clever

2007-04-28T11:18:00.001-05:00

we're old enough by now
to take care of each other
we don't need no babysitter
we don't need no father or mother
we're old enough by now
don't worry 'bout a thing
don't you remember
last december
when you went to steamboat springs?
~fountains of wayne

first- i updated my profile. you can click on it if you want- no huge change. just minuscule ones. and a funny one.

i had my first czech lesson to-day. it was pretty good i think. my tutor says i am clever. that makes me feel good. she said that i will be speaking czech in no time. which sounds great to me- because all i hear is how hard this language is. once i get the hang of reading the newspaper, i will be fine.

i played a great game to-day. i played it in two, one hour spurts. and i beat it too. it is quite fun. i made a few good puzzles myself. here is that game. nah, just kidding, that is a picture of a gnome. this is that game (for realsies). it is for mac and pc.

stef bought herself (ourselves?) a web cam. no- we are not the horny naked people on the internet doing what probably should not be done. we stay normally clothed. which if you do not know me, means i do not have a shirt on. and if you do not know her- her clothes are still on. i already purchased the isight a while ago. and now i have a great reason to use it. long distance relationships work better when you can see the person. i think.

damn sammys

2007-04-22T15:37:00.001-05:00

such fragile moments we share
you are my everything
even with nothing to say
~ city and colour

so, here in prague now. and while i was in the city i noticed that there are almost no building lower than four stories. some are being renovated and or restored. seems a shame that in the u.s. we have the technology to make great older looking buildings, but we never seem to do it that way. wonder why.

lukáš is a kind person. we get along well. we are both funny. (i know what you are thinking, yes i think i am very funny. i said it before, and i will say it again- i am the funniest person i know). when i first got into the apartment, he showed me the living room which had a bed in it, and he said, "here you go, billy. this is our bed." now, i did not want to seem impolite as i looked at the not so large bed. and he said, "haha, just kidding." that was a good one. he actually gave me the biggest room and the biggest bed. too kind.

lukáš reminds me a lot of a friend i used to have in college. brian bartz was his name. if any of you (not all of you of course) remember him, he was skinny and funny. we used to hang out a lot. and, let us just say, we do not hang out anymore, nor will we ever again. good luck to him though. but if i see him again, i will deff knock him out.

moving on...

i bought a beer the other day for 7 krouns. that is 30¢. if that were in the states most college kids would fail out. or their liver would give half way through their life. that is not to say that people here do not abuse it, i am sure that there are some who do. beer is cheaper than water here. gas at one time used to be cheaper than water in the states. gas is wicked expensive here, but the cars get better gas mileage. there is no need to own huge gas guzzling behemoths out here. in fact- we cannot complain about the price of gas. especially those of us who drive the exceptionally large cars.

i went took some pics of the very old monastery. i have some pics, you can find them, and more, here. sorry, i meant here. that first one is just a picture of a hamster. the pics came out all right. most of them are sepia- all nostalgic like. that way i can say i took them in 1852. i am sure someone will buy that. someone... anyone... no?

most people are quite friendly to this little foreigner. and apparently they like my accents. but sorry ladies, i am already taken. but thanks for thinking of me. speaking of taken- my every so nice girlfriend shipped to me a box full of shorts, some moleskines (definitely worth it), and some other things. see it is hot over here. 23ºc is shorts weather. any hotter and i will suddenly catch fire. spontaneously combust. but i could not take my shorts- i only had so much room. thanks stefanie!

oh- and for damn sammys, that is what i am telling people over here is the perfect way to insult an american. uncle sam... sammys. the people i tell it to get a good laugh. as do i. rew and i came up with that while in scotland. i could not even begin to recall the conversation to which i blurted that gem out, but then again, i say a lot of odd things at odd times. sort of like that hamsters link. or this one (thanks matt).

welcome to praha!

2007-04-19T05:36:00.000-05:00

the moon is shining now
and shadows are what’s left of all the noise
simple silhouettes and cut outs
as if we had a choice
he listens closely now
swears that he can hear a voice
that’s calling him

~something corporate

unlike heathrow, i got into the czech republic very quickly and easily. i knew that flying into the u.k. with air india would be suspicious. on air india- i would fit the terrorist profile. when i got to the czech immigration check-in, i was last in line. the immigration officer was asking everyone all sorts of questions. then he got to me:

immigration officer: hello
me: dobry den

he looks at my passport, scans it. looks at me. stamps my passport.

immigration officer: bye bye
me: ?!?!?!

i was shocked it was that easy. though after the hogwarts even in london- i thought i was to go through another suspicious event. good thing i flew british airways. i prayed that i would get in easy enough, so thank you God.

george (daniela's nephew) picked me up at the airport and we went to his car. on the elevator ride up, we got stuck. i have not even been in the country twenty minutes, and i am stuck in a metal box. and it was getting hot. i started to sweat. no good- i stink when i sweat. and since i left my deodorant in the states, i was worse than normal. (and my toothbrush i left too- cause sally the grey-hound ate it. she's a nice dog- just a bit too hungry.) george started pushing buttons and then he found the siren button. we had a good laugh as he was beeping techno like. then the box with buttons started to beep and sound like a telephone. someone on the other side started talking- to which george started talking. about twenty minutes later 'help' arrived. the rescue team comprised of one man with a bar and a set of keys. george had already opened the elevator door to see that were were about two and a half feet shy of the outside door. but we could have gotten out ourselves. the rescue guy just opened the doors like we had already. if we had only known.

george then loaded his car with my stuff, and we went to go to lukas's house. and we got lost. measures up to the rest of the trip really. but we found it eventually and now i am here. in prague, and unpacked. and shaved. and a haircut... two bits? the apartment is really nice- i shall shoot a few pictures (can i say shoot on the internet anymore? i could say bang out a few pictures, but that sounds like a porno shoot. ), i mean take a few pictures and post them.

the toilets have two buttons. one for #1, and one for the deuce. or push both for the double deuce. or a dead animal, or your stash if the cops knock on the door.

the first gym i looked at was smaller than our apartment. so to-day i look for another one. the apartment is a few minutes walk from a monastery that was built in 993, and a few minutes tram ride in the opposite direction from prague castle. fun.

soaring at a wonderful 11,277 meters high!

2007-04-16T05:36:00.000-05:00

and you're leaving me, yeah you're leaving me
you're leaving me with a hated identity

but i keep on a comin' here and standing in this state
and i'm never really sure if you'll take what i'm saying the right way
but i'm not appalled or afraid of verbal pocket play
is as discreet as i can muster up to be

~blind melon

that's right, 11,277 meters, at a whopping 796 kilometers per hour. and it is -63º centigrade out. for those of us non-metric citizens, i am 3700 feet up, and cruising at 494 miles per hour, and it is -81º fahrenheit. for those of you who have can't measure, i am up really high and moving very fast, and it is cold out. for the rest of you, wheeeeeeeeeeee!

today's in flight meal is... chicken sandwich. now- most of you know that i do not like chicken, but more than that it makes my stomach upset. one time (when i used to eat there a couple of years ago), i was at macdonald's to get some second breakfast. i asked for a number 4, it was sausage biscuits or something (the breakfast menu was still up). well, i got the lunch menu number 4 instead. it was a chicken sandwich. i choked it down, but i felt really upset in the tummy after that.

to-day i have not eaten since rew and i left our nice peach smelling hotel in the morning- and that was at 8:30 something. i was friggin hungry. so i took the sandwich to end the pangs coming from inside my stomach. well, about 15 minutes ago, i got ill. i have now raised my level for chicken to the highest that i can muster, level red- just like our silly terror alert level. foul.

if you have never thrown up on a plane- well, let me tell you, you are missing nothing at all. now, forgive me as i end this post. i need to catch the stewardess to get another whiskey to settle my stomach.

i suppose the good news is that no one sitting next to me has ever known anyone to throw up on a plane, so we had a good laugh about it. how many people have ever been able to laugh over puke? i never have. and lately i have had a terrible vomit streak. that's like three times in less than a year, which is starkly different to the like ten year streak of no vomiting that i had going.

freudian slip?

2007-04-16T05:26:00.000-05:00

give me a reason to end this discussion,
to break with tradition, to fold and divide.
'cause i hate the ocean, theme parks and airplanes,
talking with strangers, waiting in line.
i'm through with these pills that make me sit still.
~motion city soundtrack

when rew and i were in inverness, scotland, we checked out some b&b's. the second one we got to had a very nice and funny man. the first one had an open door but one was home; back to the second one. rew asked for a double, and in a perfectly natural scottish accent the man said, "sorry, i only have a double bed... you're not gay are ya?" it was funny. so then we went next door. it was another b&b. the guy in there was talking about his blood pressure and said that it was being affected by, "fags and whiskey." to which i instantly said, "what?!?" i forgot that i was in a different country and that they had different slang then we do. but really, that would mess up my blood pressure too.

hogwarts... er, i mean heathrow

2007-04-11T13:35:00.002-05:00

we arrived at heathrow. after waiting twenty minutes to get into the bay so that they could let us out. when rew and i got off the plane we had to walk about one mile to get to the immigration check in. and things took off from there.

the immigration officer found it strange that i would have quit my job and planned on spending a week here in the U.K., with real intentions to go further to the czech republic. however, she informed me that they had run out of truth serum. so... i was assigned to an immigration detective. but before she came i had to wait about thirty minutes, small time criminals like myself need to sweat it out. she questioned me in great detail for about twenty more minutes, and the disappeared. about thirty minutes later she reappeared all harry potter like and asked me to go get my bags with her so that she could look through them.

and boy did she look through them. she decided that it was quite important to read my journal in great detail- just to make sure that i had indeed told her the truth. that my journal might hold some devastating secrets. instead of pulling out her wand and saying, 'reveal thy secrets,' she just started to read it. seeing that i have filled it out quite a bit, she asked me to return to the chair that i have been so kindly waited for her twice before. about half of one hour later, she came out of the room and agreed with the pages of my journal, and my words both- that i was genuinely going to the czech republic. then she turned into a cat and scampered away.

perhaps it is pertinent that i get a flexible flight from the czech republic to the states. that way i can avoid another onslaught of wizened wizards and their peculiar questions.

on the plane

2007-04-11T13:35:00.001-05:00

soaring at a wonderful 38000 ft

what a day! rew and i made the trek from down off of my mountain to spend the night in town. up & atom (raineer wolfcastle) at eight o'clock was i. beep beep was rew and his alarm on rapid snooze. ten o'clock found us again on the road- to the bank to cash a check, to ross's house so that i can give ross $11.00 and leave a ridiculous note, then off to n.y.c.

all was well until we were about ten minutes, or less, from jfk. then traffic was at a crawl. i am abso-bloody-lutely no good at standstill traffic. but perhaps it was knowing that i was in the midst of fine company, or perhaps because of God- i was behaved.

rew took part of my flight ritual, which is to have a pint before take-off. then we awaited the plane.

onto the plane- the indian couple sitting in the same three seat row i was about to get into got up and left. apparently on 'air india' i am the terrorist. so i was alone. rew booked his flight later than i, and therefore had a different seat. no biggie- billy is a big boy now!

a little bit later an indian man came to sit with me. he was quite talkative, however his english needs much improvement. i talked to him as much as i could while at the same time writing emails that i cannot send. thanks to him i learned something about international flights. Johnny Walker red is free. at least three glasses of it...

then meals came round. my next-to passenger informed me of what i was eating. i noticed that he was not eating the mutton that i was eating. then i remembered, there is nothing more at peace then a hindu cow.

ahh... all this while flying high at 38,000 feet at 603 miles per hour.

oh... and it is -49 degrees out.

last days

2007-04-11T13:34:00.000-05:00

goodbye middleburgh. goodbye new york. goodbye u.s.a.. good bye north america.

hello europe. hello england. hello london. hello heathrow. now off to scotland, bi*$hes!

what a time in good ol' middleburgh. i love that where i live it was snowing everyday. i love that in town it only rained. what a mountain. what a town.

my last outing was spent at lion heart's. i think. either way, i won at darts, and had my favorite drink- the camel bite. though the camel bite is exclusive to the old toad of rochester new york, i bring it with me when i can. i noticed that on the 'on tap' list there was strongbow. a most excellent cider. and there was new castle, the one and only. well- this time i appropriately asked for the camel bite. (one time while i was visiting rew in delaware, i asked for a camel toe. and i could go on- but i think i will not) half strongbow, half new castle, with just enough room for something else. i cannot disclose that information though. it will be a staple at the pub i am going to own when i am older.

i got to meet a lot of people from my youth who i have spent many long years knowing.

now it is time to get my bags packed (all of about twenty minutes). piece of cake. stay tuned for the updates from scotland. world wide web- thanks al gore.

almost there

2007-04-03T23:10:00.000-05:00

so leave yourself intact
cause i will be coming back
in a phrase to cut these lips
i love you
~ c&c

to-morrow is the day i get my international license. (matt- you know what that means right?) there are a lot of different countries i plan on visiting. and some i will avoid. i will avoid some my whole entire life. like mexico- and the dirty countries below it.

i had a dream and a cat talked to me. and a kitten mocked a dog barking. hilarious.

few more days and england here i come. and you are not too far scotland. good thing europe is big- cause i might need to lay low here and there. i must restrain myself from a massive library caper.

middleburgh

2007-03-28T19:28:00.000-05:00

stand up don't make a sound
your ears might bleed
there are sweet fluorescent enemies
that live inside of me
the world moves faster than i knew
not fast enough to not creep up on you
and the space we put between
so pull me under your weather patterns
your cold fronts and the rain don't matter
because the sun burns what i needed

~something corporate

so i made it back to new york. oneonta vw took $1,000 to take my car back. hooray! then nick picked me up and took me the rest of the way to middleburgh. on my way up- i totally was doing 75 in a 55 and a po-po just cruised by. so i didn't bother slowing down- i mean, the copper already knew.

now i am at ross'. and my left ear will not pop. it is very annoying. we have a few good pints here too. come on over. to-morrow i have a meeting at 9 am. free breakfast. that guy does not know how much i eat. poor guy.

outta here

2007-03-22T20:36:00.001-05:00

hand out the window
floating on air
just a flick of the wrist
and i am waiving you goodbye
~dashboard confessional

i am still unpacked and unready to go. but i got to see some folks before i went. get your hits in now- cause monday…

i suppose it is not a full cuss word since the man's head covers most of the 'u'. but either way- i am out of here soon enough. sadly- norway is out. they will not let me stay long enough to learn the language fluently. but the czech republic will. and i can stay for free in a few places. what fun!

last night the work peeps took me out to the abbaye. and i love the abbabye. it has a dartboard that is never in use, and it has some most wonderful beer. dave and kris came out too, and my friend bob. and my girlfriend stefanie. yes- she is a real girl! and no- she is not mexican. but she is great. many people from the store came too. it was a most enjoyable time.

so i am seeing as many people as i can before i go. makes sense no? to-morrow i get to play with bailey. he is such a good dog. then off to new york.

whilst in new york, you can find me in albany for a few days. from thursday until monday you can find me in rochester. more than likely at the old toad. a great british pub, a pub that has not been topped yet; but then again, the pretentious badger has not opened yet either.

from rochester it is back to albany for a day or so, and then to manhatten with rew. then england, and then further.

when should i pack?

watch a movie with me?

2007-03-03T00:40:00.001-05:00

click me

bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

the movies of 2007 have just met their match!

amazing feats followed by feasts

2007-02-17T22:00:00.000-05:00

my lips are shaking my nails are bit off.
been a month since i've heard myself talk.
all the advantage this life's got on me.
picture a coffin in the middle of the sea.
~pearl jam

to-day i happened to be at the gym- like any other saturday morning. but this one was slightly different. it just so happened that i benched 300lbs. sure- i am a bit sore, but it was worth it. i think that means that if i got into a fight with a gorilla, i would still loose. but he would not be ten times stronger than me. he would be about five or six times. but i get to eat better food.

silent descrimination

2007-01-26T12:23:00.001-05:00

leftorium, originally uploaded by ethiopboy.

if ever you call
and it is my name
might i never stall
answer just the same

you parents tried and
how well you grew up
far from wicked lands
blessings fill your cup

i'm a mighty weight
i'd be your flotsam
an apple you ate
ruined talisman

~t. de a.

woe is me. how terrible a curse it is to be forgotten, to be forced to be like everyone else. most people will never know the the pain of being left handed. surely most things are uni-hand (that word is as of now, copyrighted) like staplers, pens, paper clips, lunch boxes, lamps, food, and other things. but many things are not uni-hand, like monkey wrenches (ha!), certain knives, can openers, keyboards, dinner settings, hand-shaking, some door handles, writing quills, watches, coffee cups (it depends on the images), and a host of other things that are sadly not coming to mind.

i ruined four can openers in three years. i do have a strong grip- but seriously. i have broken two pairs of right handed scissors. why oh why? everyday i am forced to do right handed things (like right hand turns on red. but for good measure i throw in a left on red when i can).

i need ned flanders leftorium

billy goes to jamaica!

2007-01-24T17:32:00.000-05:00

in the morning in the winter shade
on the first of march on the holiday
i thought i saw you breathing

oh the glory that the Lord has made
and the complications when i see his face
in the morning in the window

~sufjan stevens

to-day i found out that i am indeed going to jamaica. and naturally a lot of funny things came to mind. imagine how much worse it would be if i were going to mexico. this all takes place thanks to a deal from work. some school bought a ton of furniture. actually several tons- i unloaded 11,000 pounds to-day alone (that's 5.5 tons). all by myself. and stacked it... all by myself... three high. after 72 boxes (about 150 a piece) even i get a little tired. just a little. and then i went to the gym for more. i felt so good i squatted 425 pounds.

i wonder how work will get me to jamaica. will i go by plane? or will i help save money by hitchhiking to florida and then steal a tire and swim my way over. no doubt i will be fighting through the mexicans trying to get over here. they might even try to take my tire.

if i remember right, and i am sure i do, i made lots of jokes about jamaicans. "get your lazy butt up and move this furniture, you better pray to bob marley that i don't catch you sitting around the rest of the day." "if you say, 'c'mon man' one more time, i swear you will be making cheap rip off cubans by the end of the week." "get to work, money doesn't grow on trees! well, down here maybe- isn't your currency bananas?" "who is playing that come-a-come-a-come-a-come-a chameleon song?"

they might think i am a nazi. "no fruit one year!"

(thanks paul)

who knows. i just know that it will be way to friggen hot. and there is no good beer down there. looks like i need to do my airport ritual.

weird and cool

2007-01-10T20:01:00.000-05:00

if my shame spills our worth across this floor
then tonight, goodnight... i'm burning star iv
only i don't even think of you
no i don't wanna think of you anymore
goodnight, tonight, goodbye
goodnight, tonight, goodbye
~c&c

this is the longest summer in my whole entire life. and i am thoroughly sick of it. there is no need for it. if this is global warming- i will give up my car and take out all the cars in this country. my tolerance for heat is diminishing rapidly.

now on to the odd. my jacket has been left in the care of my old roommate and good friend andrew. he was kind enough to take it with him after i had left from college. in a haste of packing to get the heck out before anyone took away my diploma for destroying a library, i left behind my jacket. this jacket was quite expensive too- it was a gift for Christmas many years ago.

well, as you know- pa has had no winter this year. but i came home to see a package by the door that the postman (or postwoman) left by the door. it contained a jacket, more importantly, my jacket. i was happy to see it again, though it is not needed here in the land without winter. that was yesterday. it snowed to-day. how weird. that's right, it had nothing to do with the weather, just the jacket. do not argue the point.

on to the cool. apple iphone. i want one so freakin bad. sadly they introduced it five months before you can buy it. thanks. this phone is wicked cool. the show it off at the apple website, however they leave out a few key points (in my opinion).

they did not explain if the iphone can open attachments like .doc or whatever excel is. you can send and open attachments of pictures, but what about text docs? it is months off, so i hope to get that cleared up. i am also waiting a few months after it comes out, so that i can hear people complain or cheer it. i am expecting nothing but cheers- but i have been let down before (haven't i santa? ya bastard).

weemee

2007-01-03T09:59:00.000-05:00

hand out the window
floatin' on air
just a flip of the wrist
i'd be wavin' you goodbye
~dc

ever hear of weemee? it is kind of fun. and this one is just like me- i always wear nothing but a scarf and ear muffs. oh, and a leaf. can't just walk around in the wind without it.

i am sick. coughing, sniffing, hurting in the throat. booo! one plus is that i have a much deeper voice. i hope that it does not go away. i want to keep it. if i do keep it, i will start singing older tunes by frank, barry, and the likes. until then, i will keep feeling terrible and what not.

risk

2006-12-31T00:27:00.000-05:00

"better go back at once," i thought, as if the horses
were summoning me to the return journey, yet i
permitted the patient's sister, who faniced that i
was dazed by the heat, to take my fur coat from me.
~franz kafka

so there i was, defending a merciless attack from the united states. it was a most brutal and relentless attack. first alberta fell, then quebec, then ontario. the u.s. attacked from the east and the west. the terrible red spread itself like a weed up from the south, surging up from argentina. we fought over alberta, like tyrants do; alberta changed back and forth so many times it was like the middle east. my army could not hold any longer, the red was just too busy handing its eight-year-olds WMD; something my army would never allow. my scouts alerted me to another push northward from the united states (from the newly formed army of south america) i left was armies i could in alaska and brought my forces westward to kamchatka. if i could not have north america, i would advance fearlessly into asia.

the red (mostly comprised of dirty mexicans) witnessed heavy losses while undertaking their overthrow of the rest of n.a. ontario and quebec had chopped the s.a army in half. we did what we could, but the reds finally destroyed my forces in alaska. the bitter cold that my people were used to had little effect on those dirty spics. news reached my ears that europe was advancing on egypt and north africa. north africa was also having a time, as it was being attacked also from the west by the army of s.a. small carrier pigeons carried the news that the middle east had changed hands from europe and africa so many times it was hard to tell if it was a sovereign state at all. once or twice it was also occupied by the asians, and most notably by the australians (who had talked of taking over the middle east only for fun!). by the time my army lost alaska, australia's light was beginning to wane, asia was becoming too powerful.

i received word by messenger bears from siberia that europe was attacking from all fronts (it most be noted that siberian messenger bears were not as friendly as the alaskan ones). europe, after breaking into africa (mostly for slave trade profits), also removed the asian armies in the middle east, india and then the australian armies that occupied siam. without more then a second thought europe wiped out the armies of australia (who put up a very weak fight).

however forceful europe's spread was, all the more was asia's. asia exploded into the ukraine and then south through siam and further into australia, leaving europe clinging onto iceland and scandinavia to the north. with africa fully occupied by the s.a. army (as well as all of n.a.), the rest of the world was ready to fall.

the south american army pushed through alaska and forced my army to surrender in kamchatka. we then learned that they pushed down from greenland into europe bringing total annihilation. then they spread east forcing asia to hold onto australia alone. it was about this time (as told to me from the squidy messengers) that the last african stronghold in (of all places) japan had finally given up it's territory to the ever forward advancement of the s.a. army.

after spreading itself so thin, the s.a. army reluctantly held it's position just outside of new guinea, leaving west and east australia to play with their boomerangs in peace. i give this up to the s.a. army's laziness (as i am still believe that it is largely comprised of dirty mexicans.

because it is me

2006-12-15T22:32:00.000-05:00

maybe i caught you at a bad time.
maybe i should call you back next week.
maybe half the fault was mine that
the sun didn't shine on barrington street.

~bnl

i am finally moved in to the new place. everything has a spot. books in the bookshelf, clothes in the dresser. some on the floor. they like it there. i started going to a new gym too. there is almost no one there. and a funny thing happened to me.

i like going to the gym. i get to work-out, get frustration and extra energy out, and i get stronger. and that is where the funny thing happened. while at the gym, i made a voice message for myself on my phone. then i played it. i think it is most hilarious that i appear to be a stronger looking guy- and i sound like a girl. it is quite a high voice- on the recording anyways. who knew?

thoughts of heresy?

2006-12-01T22:24:00.000-05:00

i thought you said that you'd come find me
i thought you said you'd be home by now
i heard you sing that you'd come back here
so i wrote to remind you somehow
~anberlin

i have been having thoughts lately. thoughts that in some eyes would make me a heretic. but what do you do? as i read my bible, it tells of God being shocked, and at other times changing his mind. but i know that some would say that every last thing is known to God. but how can this be? i mean- sometimes God used other nations to punish israel, and was then upset because that nation went too far; God was shocked. this tells me that not everything is set in stone.

i don't think that this makes God less omniscient- his will will be done. however it seems that we Christians are allowed to help carry that will out. it encourages me to know that God who can do whatever he wants, is willing to let someone as small as me to be a genuine part of it.

i understand the heretical part of this- but i do not know how else to justify the parts of the bible of God changing his mind, and even being shocked.

long time no see

2006-12-01T20:46:00.000-05:00

and i swear to the the stars
i'll burn this whole city down
~the decemberists

where have i been, you ask. i will tell you. i have been spending way too much time at work. and moving. and working. i am praying for a big ass bonus.

i saw a bumper sticker to-day. "if you are reading this, thank a teacher. if you are reading this in english thank a soldier."

retarded.

they are not fighting an invasion, they are invading.

what else... oh- i have a bed now. i went from one extreme- sleeping on the floor, to the other extreme- sleeping about two feet from the ceiling. yup, that's what i do.

for thanksgiving i went with rew to dave and kris' house. and andy and andrew were there. and so were parents. not mine. it was almost no good. some of the boys felt terrible after having some mead. not me- my stomach will take anything but chicken and mushrooms. it loves beer. but i ate as much as i could, and i think i did a good job.

after thanksgiving, it was just a nice slow day with rew. nice slow day with a good friend to make a day good.

well... that is it.

new

2006-11-09T20:19:00.001-05:00

DSC00653, originally uploaded by ethiopboy.

if those scars were not enough, i needed a new one. this bad boy is thanks to eggo. that's right, i reached in rather hastily into the toaster oven (as i can only be with food- i am too hungry) and burnt myself. the skin bubbled up instantly. and the whole house stunk like dirty burnt flesh. booo!

new scars

2006-11-09T20:17:00.001-05:00

new scars, originally uploaded by ethiopboy.

you can see a little bit better in black and white

new scars 2

2006-11-09T20:15:00.001-05:00

new scars 2, originally uploaded by ethiopboy.

i think it is healing up nicely?

Stolen Flesh

2006-10-19T19:23:00.001-05:00

Stolen Flesh, originally uploaded by ethiopboy.

this happened the previous year. and i have a scar for that too. if i ever forget canada- all i need to do is look at my body for the scars. man does that country suck, outside of not using real money.

nice cut

2006-10-19T19:11:00.001-05:00

nice cut, originally uploaded by ethiopboy.

not sure if this is two or three days after the lake got me. but it healed really fast. no more scabs, just scars. what woman would want me now? ruined!

canada

2006-10-17T20:37:00.000-05:00

we stayed a long, long time
but i am not afraid to die
to see you, to meet you
to see you at last.
~sufjan stevens.

once again canada proved itself useful. rew and andrew went up first, followed by dave and kris, then matt, jonathan, nate and myself as we completed the members of this fine american team.

the car ride up was fun. matt, being eco-friendly, has a fun new honda civic hybrid. as tradition has it, i drove most of the way to canada. oddly enough we were passed by three cars. and i passed two of them at a later point. i drive a standard, so a few times after we got gas i forgot that i was not driving my car and pressed hard on the brakes, thinking it was the clutch. lots of fun conversations took place. this year, unlike one year, we missed the bus completely. it was moved. and this time i was ready, instead of taking a ninety-degree turn at eighty-four kilometers/hour, i crept into it a lot slower. thanks boys.

gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna buy me a rainbow, buy me a rainbow.

croquet was not played as much this year, both games played were won by rew. congratulations. there was a good amount of soccer volleying going on, with some awesome saves involving someone running headlong down a hill before the water swallowed up the ball. one time i went to get the soccer ball from the water. i did my classy dive right into some rocks. when i surfaced, my hands were chopped up, and my right bosom was letting a fair amount of blood issue forth. and the water was cold.

cocce (crotchy) was a success once again. i am afraid that i cannot recall winners for this sport, but i do know that rew was thoroughly against whoever was in first place. the bugs were a bit vicious, and rew started running about suggesting to the bugs that they should, 'try my tasty friends.'

remy's did not disappoint. darts were thrown, pints were drunk, food was eaten, and conversations abound. the teahouse was sadly closed. however, the tangled garden offered us a spot for breakfast, and american music. and nate saw dustin hoffman, or a dustin hoffman look-a-like, which oddly enough is an annual tradition in westport canada the week of canadian thanksgiving.

after kirs and dave, matt, nate, and johnathan left, us boys headed down to find a new town. the town of perth was of our choosing and is a great town. we were instantly captivated by bibblewick’s. but bibblewick’s disappointed us by being closed. the red fox, of across the street, offered us some amount of dinner and a table for three. the next night biblewicks was open. what a grand place. many darts were thrown, and many games played. it was just like remy's. fish and chips were buy one get one free. yummy. the next night remy's disappointed us- stupid dog. we then went back to bibblewick's and threw more darts. andrew asked the cute barkeep to marry him, but apparently roller-bladers are as uncool up there as they are down here.

hey ya. hey ya. hey ya. hey ya. you think you got it, oh you think you got it. but got it just don't get it till there's nothing left at all. (the somber and ever serious version by matt weddie).

when we got back to the cottage, andrew attacked me. then rew attacked me. then both of them were attacking me. the brawl ended with rew putting my head into a rock. that's right, billy the nice guy minds his own business and gets blitz krieg-ed. so now i have cuts on my right boob, and my hands, and back of my head. the scars abound. if i knew that going to canada was just an invitation to an ass kicking, i would have stayed home. who am i kidding? i would have went.

thanks friends.

p.s. thanks rew for the birthday invitation.

celtic fest serves tullamore dew?

2006-09-24T20:45:00.000-05:00

well, you know i never meant to hurt no one
but i've got a knack for getting things undone
and i've got a way of ruining your fun
all the time

two out of three days at the celtic fest is pretty good. and what a time. both days were overcast and cool, with a good breeze. add that with pint, some fish and chips, shepperds pie and some bagpipes- and it is like heaven came down for a few hours. and then i thought of a great quote: 'God made beer because he loves us and wants us to be happy,' ben franklin.

to-day, while walking about i stumbled accross something that perhaps should not have been. apparently some marketing guy at tullamore dew has lost his mind. they were giving away free shots of tullamore Irish whiskey. why, oh why?!?! did they not know what group of people they were giving it too? give a bunch of Irish folk whiskey and it is like 1522 all over agian. then i found out it was only one shot per person. the girl behind the bottle was really pretty. so three shots later, i decided to keep on walking.

on the way back to the car i felt odd that i should feel buzzed. but then started to add things up- two or three pints and three shots of tullamore dew= yup, glad i didn't drive.

good riddance

2006-09-23T16:13:00.000-05:00

so here we are now
a sip of wine a sip of water
someday maybe, maybe
someday we’ll be smarter

finally summer is done. and i hope that i will never meet it again. i truly hate summer and most of what goes on with it. that's right- i said it. i am not a fan of sweating my ass off. a cloudy sky, even one that is letting loose its contents of moisture is far better than a sky full of sun. i have no problem swimming in october, it would actually feel refreshing; there is nothing refreshing after a dip in a pool with a 85 degree or better temperature. but i thank God that that brutal season is over. now we can get on to some great weather.

celtic festival is underway this weekend. naturally i am a fan. on a nice cool day i like to watch the caber toss, what of it? great music, great beer, great food and great people. everyone should embrace their heritage, even if it is full of whiskey drinking, kilt wearing, english fighting ancestors.

on going home

2006-09-11T14:36:00.000-05:00

night falls beneath candle light,
white squalls beneath winter skies,
dredg

what a joyous return home.

my friend nick and i went down to the local bar. there are two bars in the town of middleburgh, ny. one of them have the clientel of a less savory nature- interesting people anyways. it is very loud and some people would rather cause a ruckus rather than enjoy a good time. the other is very quiet where people are friendly and will chat with anyone. nick and i went to both- but started at the louder one.

bj's is the name. i am not sure why, perhaps the owner's name is bartholomew jacobson. and at first glance it does not look like much, and only after you get inside, you find that it really is not much to look at. however, if we are at a bar, we should at least try our hands at getting a drink.

i ordered mine, black russian- there is no guinness. while the barkeep was concerning herself with making my drink, i was introduced to one of the locals, rather- she introduced herself to me, as pleasantly as she could.

local patron: "get the f*%$ out of my way"
me: "you could try excuse me"
lp: "i don't have to say anything to you"
me: "perhaps you should, you are a lady, and besides, everyone has manners- find them."

i left barside to rejoin my friend nick who has met some of our other friends. i recalled the story to them, just as i have with you. just as i had finished this rather large mid to late thirty-something woman came rushing towards me and pushed one of my friends out of her way.

lp: "if you have something to say to me, say it to my f*$#ing face!"
me: i am not talking about you, i was done when we were at the bar" (i am pretty sure this is what i said- i was quite mild mannered about the whole thing)
it was at this time that the local patron started screaming and knocked my drink out of my hand. she then proceeded to push me. surely i cannot hit a women, so i let it go. then a second time. as she was about to her third attempt to push me i grabbed both of her arms and pushed them down and shoved her away from me. clearly that was the time that everyone else at the bar thought that it should end. about five or so guys came up and held her back and stood in front of me.

perhaps it was the surge of adreneline, or just the shock of loosing a good drink- but i cannot really recall just what happened after that. i know that the woman was kindly escorted out of the bar. after that i wanted to go too, to the other local bar. thankfully i did. kelly's is the name of this bar. mr. kelly is not irish by any means, but titled his bar so. he serves guinness, so it cannot be that bad. guinness was $2.75 a pint; combine that with the fact that the woman that i greeted was not there- it was a great night.

welcome home, billy, indeed!

how to ruin your talk with a girl

2006-08-23T20:58:00.000-05:00

i am fairly agile
i can bend and not break
or i can break and take it with a smile.

i usually do not ruin my chances with a girl by talking to her- but i do for other people. for example to-day, at work, rich was talking to a woman who works next door. i have no clue what they were talking about, but i know what they will be talking about, if they do ever talk again.

i could not help but yell out, "hey smallwood (his last name- terrible really... richard smallwood... put it together now... there you go- you got it.), put your hemeroide cream away when you are done with it! i was trying to make a sandwich and i almost used that thinking it was the mustard!" good times.

he gave the stupid face, wondering if she heard. oh- she heard. sometimes my voice- like my devilish laugh, carries far. i just hope for his sake that he does not want to start a prank war. because i guarantee that he will quit before i am done, though i will not be malicious. but when a prank war has started i never tire of new ideas, and i will get up early or stay up late to see them through- for days on end. just ask roberts' wesleyan college.

other news: my passport came in. i have the visa form from the royal norwegian consulate. priced out some great deals to norway- allowing naturally for a few pints in ireland an england. just need to find a place to stay- look into getting a job, perhaps a norwegian class or two, and find a rich hot norwegian girl- and i will be set.

i do not need keys

2006-08-18T23:51:00.000-05:00

nothing's so loud
as hearing when we lie
the truth is not kind
and you've said neither am i
but the air outside so soft is saying everything
~toad the wet sprocket.

good-evening, god kveld!

why am i in such a good mood? well, is it not obvious? i did something devious. well, not all that devious; i did not have a key- but locks are not a good enough deterrent, i mean- really, it is me i am writing about.

how about we start from the beginning. levi will appreciate this story- though not a tour de force of liquid proportions, it contains essentials nonetheless.

this guy i work out with, bruce, just so happens to be a part-time bartender. when he works he encourages me to come out and keep him company. my part is easy- i sit and talk like a friend would, and he keeps supplying the drinks, as a bartender should; only at the ripe old price of free.

well, i got there at 10.5 and stayed for two hours and eight drinks (levi- i missed the wine, but got the other two). for those of you who are not Scotch/Irish- that is a good bit of drinking. and for those of you who are Scotch/Irish- that is wetting the whistle. either way, i was done and decided to come home.

right next to the development that i live in there is a industrial park barricaded with a chain linked fence and angled tops with 'sharp' wire. to-night i was curious to the goings ons in such a place, so i found a way in- terrible security, those locks are easier than what i practiced on at the age of 11 (so i grew up differently than you, big deal). after letting myself in, i began checking this place out.

there were two soda machines that were cheap (do not worry lucas- i did not partake). i kept moving along, climbing on rooftops and ontop of trailers that were uncarriaged from the tractor. some of them were without a lock, and upon entering they were empty. i thought the same of the ones that were locked- and i was right, empty.

i quickly exhausted this new scenario, and i hopped the fence to come back to the commercial living aspect of this community.

better to get it out now i suppose. better than trying this stunt in canada, right matt? but who would stop me then? mounties? i dare think not! how could i think such a thing?

'wipe that smile off your face'

2006-07-25T06:43:00.000-05:00

but i feel the gravel move beneath my feet
the smell of the gasoline mixed in with the trees
when my faith is strong i know my strength
the threats will be screamed when the vultures feel threatened

~rocky votolato

to-day i am getting a passport. new picture too. i even shaved, first time in two weeks. not that anyone could tell. i am the worst facial hair growing irishman i know. yesterday i was pouring through old photographs to see if any of them could be used for my passport, and i noticed two things: in most of the photos i am smiling, and i look exactly the same as my last year in high-school.

however, since the photographs with burnt in images of me show myself smiling, i need a new picture. england does not accept anymore passports with smiling faces. either does canada. sourpusses. something about biometric scanning and photo doctoring- neither of which i have, i am as healthy as a bow legged ox. but i tell you what i do have: a new pair of socks. i should use a picture of those new bad boys for my secondary picture.

customs: name...
me: socks, socks mckinstry. i know, i know- it is a bad picture, i tried really hard not to smile.

but my flight will be to england- under $300, then i go up north and take the ferry across. or just take another plane, i have not made up my mind. therefore i need a passport without my pearly whites. and why is it pearly? why not eggshell, or off-white, or ultrawhite, or even dingy, stained, discoloured white? maybe the perly reminds them of the ocean. so then i cannot show off my salty-whites.

på vei til norge

2006-07-18T09:04:00.000-05:00

all around me are familiar faces
worn out places
worn out faces
bright and early for the daily races
going nowhere
going nowhere
~gary jules

this week i am working on getting out of here. though it won't be for about seven or eight months, the way gas is going, national deficit, ridiculous heat and the likes- it is time to change the scenery. phone calls and maybe even the purchase of a plane ticket or two, and i will be all the closer.

one more international trip this year, and one for next. culture, culture, culture.

levi- this one is for you (mostly)

2006-07-07T23:27:00.000-05:00

did the clown make you smile
he was only your fool for a while
but now he’s gone back home
and left you wandering there
~nora jones

imuffs came in to-day. they are great. i can go thirty feet without loosing the signal. and twenty-five feet if there is a wall inbetween the imuffs and ipod, and about fifteen feet if there is a door and wall seperating me from the imuffs and the ipod. they work well with my bluetooth razr, and i can use them with my mac as well. i love them.

speaking of macs... why not get one. i know they seem pricey, but think about it- would you get a kia over a mercedes just because the kia had a bigger v-6 engine and two cubic inches more trunk space? i think not, or i should hope not.

i had a pc that i built myself. it was awesome, for about two years. then it kept getting slower and locking up here and there. then i bought a mac. this mac has lower numbers compared to the pc i had (1.5ghz and 1.67ghz, respectivley). however my mac did laps around my pc.

here is a price comparison:

dell's xps 700
Pentium® D Processor 930 with Dual Core Technology, 3.00GHz, 800FSB Windows® XP Professional with re-installation CD
2GB ram (most people do not need more)
500GB Serial ATA Harddrive
Dual Drives: 16x DVD-ROM Drive + 16x DVD+/-RW w/ dbl layer write capable
1GB NVIDIA GeForce 7950 GX2 Dual-GPU Graphics Card
24 inch UltraSharp™ 2407FPW Widescreen Digital Flat Panel
Sound Blaster® X-Fi™ XtremeMusic (D), w/Dolby® Digital 5.1
NETGEAR WG111 54 Mbps Wireless USB 2.0 Adapter
3Yr Ltd Warr,At-Home Service,and HW Warr Support
Dell On Call 13 month includes 30 Day Unlimited +1 Yr 5 Incidents
Microsoft Office Small Business Ed.- Basic plus PowerPoint and Publisher
McAfee SecurityCenter with VirusScan, Firewall, Spyware Removal, 36-months (stupid not to, all those viruses, right?)
Combo: Roxio Creator Deluxe and MyDVD Deluxe (DVD+RW only) (how else would you make those dvds?)
Deluxe Entertainment Pack -Starter PLUS superior Photo and Music management (to compete with ilife)
$4,588

apple's g5
dual-core 2.3ghz powerpc g5 processor (next one up is quad-core, and that just wouldn't be fair) 1.15ghz frontside bus per processor (faster than dell)
2GB ram
500GB Serial ATA Harddrive
nvidia geforce 6600 256mb ram
apple cinema, 23-inch cinema hd
apple airport bluetooth wireless
applecare protection plan (same support as both of the dell plans)
$4,746

notice how the apple seems to have less? it is missing speakers (another 100-200 if you want) and it is missing virus protection- because you will not need it. everything is included, minus microsoft word, which you can get for 150, or get iworks (which has a word processor) for 70. but the mac is in a quiet, aluminum case. dell is in a plastic case. so, yes- it can be a bit more, but would you buy a kia over a mercades if you had the money? the interface is easier, smoother and cleaner. my old pc would scream like a mother f*er if it had to do what my mac does. and levi- specail offer, i will pay the $158 diff, and show you how to use it and other cool stuff.

email

2006-07-04T08:51:00.000-05:00

you closed the door and stumbled down to the street
where you wring your hands and you drag your feet
~guster

remember when i had too many email addresses? just about all of them have closed. let's see how many i had:

ethiopboy@hungryfisherman.com (that was a good one)
ethiopboy@bombdiggity.com
ethiopboy@dbz.com (good 'ol dragonball z)
ethiopboy@gastroenterology.com (i was dr. harry ethiopboy- until they closed it because i am not a real doctor.
ethiopboy@mail.com
ethiopboy@email.com
ethiopboy@themail.com
ethiopboy@hotmail.com
ethiopboy@celtic.com

well, i cannot remember them all, i know that there was over fifty of them. most shut down though, or wanted me to pay for the use of the email. and i just got tired of checking fifty some email.

great weather

2006-06-30T14:28:00.000-05:00

the clouds are holding up the dawn
they're stilts or crutches
i can't tell which one
to keep the short days looking longer
or to keep the sunlight from falling on broken legs
but the night's disguise is wearing thin
~rocky votolato

we have been having some great weather down here. it rained for about five to six days straight. it was a warm rain, but i spent a good deal of time in it- i love rainy days. the sunny ones are ok. but though we were blessed with rain, the overblessing came in the form of flooding. but i will take that over a drought.

odd thought- though i am not a big fan of contractions, some of them seem out of place in sentences when they are broken down, and one seems all wrong to begin with. for example, 'doesn't he understand?' (does not he understand?), just seems odd. and what about 'won't'. 'won't' is supposed to be for 'will not.' seems like it should be willn't, if you follow the pattern for the others (shouldn't, wouldn't, don't, doesn't, can't...)

and what a great phrase i hear more and more often, 'i hear ya.' when one utters it, there is no need to listen or even pretend to care. if i hear you, which i do, it is good enough. what a phrase. i will make much use of it when i can.

my mother came down to q-town. it was an odd time. i had a terrible childhood, so it is very hard to welcome someone like my mother into my house. hard to be welcoming altogether. call me terrible, but it is hard to be nice to someone who has been dreadfully terrible to you for most of you life. but i acknowledge the effort, so my best was done to receive it and be as cordial as possible.

on a better note, my nephew called. he is just shy of 5. he remembers people's phone numbers, not tons, but a few. the call came up as dan- but it was my nephew screaming, 'boobies, boobies, boobies.' yes, i am a great uncle, that kid is a riot because of me. he wants to do everything i do. when we were in disneyland, i had my picture taken with snow white. i was gabbing her boob (it was a statue), and we were both smiling. and ever since, ethan screams boobies when he sees me, or calls me. what a kid.

just for fun

2006-06-28T23:44:00.000-05:00

you get one look
i'll show you something that the knife took.
abit to early for my own good
now let's not speak of it again

~dashboard confessional

i am selling my older ipod to a friend, for a real good price too. all of that is so that i can get the new u2 ipod. i have only one complaint about the ipod- which is hands down the best purchase i have ever made. the complaint is just that with bluetooth on the rise, why not through it in? i would love to have a totally wireless ipod set up. so i did a search and found something hilarious.

a company makes a handy little wireless headset for the ipod and bluetooth phones. it is called imuff. now i think that it is sadly a terrible name. and though i am many things, i am not a pervert, but i got a good laugh. and as some of you might have guessed... i thought, how hilarious would it be if someone made a waterproof case for the ipod called the idive? if you don't get it, it is because you are a good kid; i have said it before, and i am will say it again, i am mostly terrible. but i did a search for the idive, and it does exist, just in another form, and will never be paired with the imuffs, except perhaps only in this blog, but it does pair with the ipod, so... i guess it could pair with the imuffs... imuffsidive. terrible!

rew, snow patrol mentions
sufjon stevens in their song
'hands open'

168lbs of pure evil

2006-06-20T20:37:00.000-05:00

after a good chat with kyle (who believes me to be satan), i discussed different types of monarchies. he was a good sport and pretended to care. then he told me i was 168 pounds of pure evil. oddly enough i was talking theology (lightly) with mattathias. just seems odd.

on a heavier note (get it?) i squatted 455 pounds to-day.

tricky

2006-06-16T09:38:00.000-05:00

oh we better,
get away
send a letter,
bombs away
~breaking benjamin

so i was at the gym again... and i pulled another prank. this time it was an easy one in which no one was hurt and nothing was damaged. i work out with this guy, 'tank'. he has a truck- and on this particular day, which i cannot remember- but it was some day this week, ok it was wednesday, he had bales of straw in the back. for some reason, i thought that it would look better stacked around his truck. yesterday while we were working out, i said to him, 'i heard you lost a bale of straw?" and he replied, "no, i lost all of them. they were all stacked around my truck. i can't figure out who did it, but... you mother f@$*Ã¦Â¿!" good times. i told him that from now on i will be leaving my sun roof closed because i do not want it to get filled with straw, to which he said, "that is a good idea. so you put quite a bit of thought into these things, huh?

do i ever- i have a history. most of the things i do i remember. and the ones i don't people kindly enough help me remember. such as this:

'some people will look back at their lives and some experiences will always stand out. mine is the one night you, tom and me came back from the old toad. and then you proceeded to jump the curb and drive all over the lawn in your '88. driving around (and almost through) the pond and then up the walk way ramping the curb to park the car and then calmly walking inside.'
~my old college roommate david meade.

well thanks dave- i forgot all about that. sometimes people call me just to let me know that they found out that i did something. such as this: 'i found out what you did to the library. i got an extention on my final paper because of your stunt. and i couldn't use the library for three days- you ass!' glad i could help julie- anytime!

or this: 'hey billy, you went to roberts' right? cause my friend is staying with me this summer and she was telling me all about this one boy who pulled all sorts of pranks; shutting down the library, painting houses, and setting off fire alarms; did you ever meet him?' did i ever meet him? Erin, it was me- i am that boy from roberts'.

now if i can get someone to remember me for doing somthing less devious- my life will be 1/12 more complete.

fun stuff

2006-05-19T17:22:00.000-05:00

passing white daisies, taking turns
all those evenings on the back deck of our first apartment
they meant everything but the wind just carried them off
and you can’t go back now, just a passing moment gone

~rocky votolato

i have been a part of many funny things lately. for example, only moments ago i was at gymies. it was normal. only this time, when i went to do the abdominal workout, the room was full of bass thumps and the ear piercing voice of gewn stefani (is that just a variation of 'stephanie'?). some guy wearing the richard simmons outfit was getting ready to start an aerobics class. he asked if it was anyone's first time, and naturally i have to raise my hands to these questions. it's like slapping someone five when they raise their hand, and they both get fun laughs.

i got to go home last weekend- and it was a blast. my friend dan-O is going through a divorce, which is normally bad- but this is actually good for him. i never got to hang out with him when they were married. so he came out with me for a party in oneonta. the party- oddly enough, was for me. no sooner do i show up and i hear my friend nick yell at the top of his lungs, 'mckinstry's here!' the party was mostly college kids that i did not know. about two hours into the party... the po-pos came. hooray! for some reason everyone goes to the top floor of the house into the bedrooms. naturally i went down stairs- i love talking to cops, and i am 25, what would they do? i was sober and bought nothing (as i should not have, really the party was for me).

the cops told me to get rid of everyone because there had been a noise complaint called in. i mentioned that if he listened carefully enough that the house was dead quiet, and that the only noise was coming from the house next door- full of drunken college kids. after he threatened to arrest me, and after i laughed at him (there was no reason for me to be arrested, i did not live there, i did not buy anything, and i am older than i look). then he asked me with a 'please' to get everyone out. so i did, as nice as i am to most pigs. and after i found my friend dan, i had to tell him that there was no reason to run from the cops, as he is 23.

fun times. freakin cops.

oh... and we chased deer down the streets. and the whole time i was sober.

hepatitis p

2006-05-01T20:20:00.000-05:00

naturally this spring shouldn't be like any other that i have not been able to enjoy. just about every year i get skin herps. they itch like nothing i could ever get over. this is the first time i have ever had a case of poison ivy, but the remedy is nevertheless the same, so excuse me while i itch for about ten minutes and burn the new wounds with good ol' fashioned clorox.

i miss you winter

movie

2006-04-28T23:31:00.000-05:00

my trembling hand turns
left, left me with burns
festering splinters come
my swollen knee-caps
kneeling reading maps
still can't find my way home
~t de a

first things first:

as you might have guessed, i got rid of the other post before hand. it just seemed that it was not going well. this one will stay, so any comments will be appreciated, and left on.

i will not lie, i did not look as hard as my friend matt did to find evidence for the movie, United 93, and the funds it is to generate, and where those funds will go. but- if i may, i did know that this movie was made with the consent of the families involved. and please do not get me wrong, it might be a great film. however, i will still not see it. hollywood makes movies for one reason alone. going a stretch further- the people responsible for this movie would not donate all of the money generated, after cost, to the families involved.

therefore, knowing that, and the way that hollywood is, i still see this movie as a money making film. i could be 100% wrong, i will not deny that, but i will still let my donation go, and refrain from the movie. though i do like the idea of using no named actors/esses.

spoilers are dumb

2006-04-21T09:59:00.000-05:00

i've not made amends for my yesterdays
my lips won't get me out of it
waking up dreading hearing tales
of all my nightmares coming true.

~i forget, snow patrol maybe?

ok, now i am not saying that all spoilers are dumb. sometimes i like looking up information about an album, book or movie before i hear, read or see it. and most people are considerate enough to let you know that there is going to be a spoiler, and that i should avert my ears or eyes, or... both... either way- i am not talking about those spoilers. i am also not talking about the 'spoilers' that the preservatives keep under control in our food. i think those spoilers are called germs, or something like that, i do not know, i tend just to eat, germs or not.

the spoilers i am talking about are the ones you see on cars. you know, like the ones you see on a 'suped up' honda civic, or saturn sedan that is all grey (ready to be painted for the next four years). most of these cars have 'for sale' signs on them. they realised that their cars were ok before, and now they look like shit. and since no one wants to buy a car with holes on the top of the trunk. well, maybe if you are smuggling dirty mexicans into our country then you would.

but on one sunday, the one after saturday, a normal day, i was coming home from church. as i put on my signal to let the car two inches away from my bumper know that i will be coming to a complete obnoxious stop before i go turn onto the street of my desired route home, a van approached the stop sign. normally i would think nothing of a mini van pulling up to a stop sign, even if i were going to turn on the same street; but this one was different. granny mcfierson (as i am naming her) came to a stop, but her hubcaps kept spinning. i started to laugh, and only laughed harder when i saw a spoiler on the back van. why o why does anyone need a spoiler on a mini van? all of those crazy-ass turns at .5 miles an hour- the aerodynamic design of the mini van forces all of the wind through the spoiler and then keeps the back end from fish-tailing about. who knew that granny mcfierson, who obviously drives like a bat out of hades, knew so much about spoilers. i bet you anything, she intimidates anyone at a red light. i should buy racing gloves and keep them handy so that if i see her again i can give it to her.

fridays at the gym

2006-04-08T13:46:00.000-05:00

i'm calling you to see
if you're sleeping or you're dreaming
and if you're dreaming
are you dreaming of me.
~b.o.

i love the gym on fridays, it is mostly empty. flare guy is not there, the teeny boppers are at some block party while their parents think they are at each other's houses studying, and scream-at-every-rep guy isn't there either. the music is a little bit quieter, and no waiting to use different benches or machines. however, that is when the bizzaros come out.

bizzaro rew is never there during the week. boy oh boy if he doesn't look like rew. difference is deff in the shoes, so far.

bizzaro eli is there too. those of us who know eli, know he is funny and skinny. bizzaro eli is skinny too, except in a more ripped sort of way. and where eli is extremely outgoing, bizzaro eli couldn't talk to save his life.

i have met or seen many bizzaros at the gym- which is bizzaro enough. last, but not least, there is bizzaro matt. bizzaro matt is studying to be a nurse, and i do not know how well he will do. i believe that most of the weights in the room are smarter than he is, unlike unbizzaro matt. and also unlike unbizzaro matt, bizzaro matt starts conversations very oddly, "hey... i got a test to-morrow, so i got to go study. see you later man." that was the whole conversation. i was there about forty-five minutes and he came up to say that and left. many other weird conversations have also happened.

there must be a portal somewhere in quakertown that is letting the bizzaros come through. either that or i just think everyone looks like my friends. "sure i'm blind in one eye, and my other eye was infected that day from picking at it, and i was tired, and i'd been swimming in a pool with too much chlorine, and that was the hour my glasses were at lenscrafters but i seen that [bizzaro____]!"

gadzooks! it has been a long time

2006-04-07T20:20:00.000-05:00

first off, this is a promise that i will do this a bit more often. write crap in hopes that one person might get a good laugh. and if no one does- that is fine too. they can just kiss my... well, let's keep it nice.

i wrote an email to a friend, ken gilson about getting together- though i did not know him for very long- i thought he was a funny guy. he used to get prame (indian guy) so fired up that he would scream at the top of his lungs some odd obscenities in heebe jeebe and do the alalallaalalalaalala thing, running after ken with a knife. he shared some funny stories of things that i did, but i forgot that i did them. boy- even after all my exploits, all the planning, all the 'shot from the hip' pranks, i forget some of them.

anyways- the email went like this:

hey ken,
well, friday is almost always booked. but i tell you
what: i will cancel my prior engagements. which really consists of
making fun of people at starbucks who bring their laptops, fighting
with the dryer over my lost (stolen) socks, fake phone calls to the
other friends i don't have in this town, forging rings, printing fake
diplomas and selling them on ebay, writing bogus clauses to the
constitution (and erasing them), dressing in pre-centennial clothing
and offering people tea, foraging for food, painting terrible pictures
and signing them 'rodin', listening to certain music on headphones
because i am embarrassed to let people know i own such songs (ace of
bass and such), read books no one knows, let myself win in a game of
dominoes, putting fringe on my roommate's shirts, determining
quakertown's barometric pressure using a sock (the one the dryer
didn't steal) and a thermometer, go to walmart and say sayings from
the 80's really loud (totally tubular, gnarly...), write another hate
letter to david schwimmer for his terrible acting ability...

good stuff, i might keep that so that if i ever need to avoid a date, or turn down a job- i will always have it available.

soon i get to fire someone. this guy used to be a good employee, but now he is no good. i have been thinking about what to say. so far, all i can come up with is, "hey chris, say... um- you're a liar. no wait a minute, what did i say? no- sorry bud, i meant you are fired. well, no- you are both. yeah- so... how's about you leave your keys. no really- i am serious, any more work you do to-day is for free, so get moving." maybe i will not do that, i am unsure. i might just do a trump.

O'Verien McBrotzman

2006-03-18T22:42:00.000-05:00

happy second birthday billy!

another birthday done. such a great time was had, i am sure, by all. from work i hopped on a train and met dave at the station. from there we met up with jameson, then went to get kris, and then went out. everyone packed into roosevelt's. teddy, not his four wheeling relative frankie (vroom). sadly, our first round came in plastic cups. now, perhaps i am becoming a snobby beer connoisseur, but beer does not belong in a plastic cup. unless of course it is coors, bud, genny, natty ice, or any other crappy popular american beer.

being Irish, i decided to test my luck, which i have a lot of. and why not- luck can only last a lifetime if you die young, or- if you are me. our waitress was an attractive girl whose only green attire (that i could see) was her bra strap. she, like the other female waitresses had to wear a black uniform of pants and tank-top. i asked her if we could see some glasses for our pints, if for anything, i know that the glass holds more than the plastic cup and both are the same price. next round, and any after for that matter, came in a pint glass. and at the end of the night, i pulled off a perfect 'kiss me, i'm Irish' with her.

verien met up with us a bit later in the night. it was great to see him, funny guy. in fact, if i may say so, our side was the funnier side as it had verien, jameson and myself. and the funniest part of the night came from our side. apparently verien is more Irish than we know. his apt Irish name is mcbrotzman, o'verien mcbrotzman. hilarious. (if you are mexican, you will not get the joke, so here is a hint- think of the cancer.)

much to the surprise of some, i took it very easy. i had no more than six pints, and then dave and i topped it off with some funny videos and scotch. it just may be that my heavier nights are done. yet, i will not lie, if we go to Europe, or canada again, i will apologize in advance.

to add, if you think of it:
i have been thought of by someone (who obviously just met me) as extremely professional. either way, they work for the government, and is trying to see if he can get me a job. and i didn't even ask. so if it crosses your mind- pray that that door will open.

long time no?

2006-03-12T02:42:00.000-05:00

well, cut me a break if you can. i have been a bit busy, mostly at work.

currently i am in florida spending time at a theological convention and hanging out with roland. naturally i took a plane, and so naturally i partook in my new flying ritual (local airport bar). surely i do not drink that often or that much anymore- however i have my fare share of great and humorous stories that tie into them. just ask if you ever want to know.

this last meeting with roland was excellent. it was just what i needed i suppose. sometimes i keep the clarity of my life from others. so i am sure that i seem to come off a bit of a riddle. rew and i talked about punishments for crimes, and does it always fit (noting different punishments in different countries too), but it got me to thinking about some of my own stunts.

rew is right; working backwards:

i should not have the job that i have
i should not have recieved my diploma
i sholuld have been expelled
i should never have made it out of high school
i should be dead.

and this is not because i am so crafty, nor so smart that i do not get caught. at least not on that at all. rew suggested that i rely to heavily on the grace of others. actually i rely on the grace of God, because i would be ever so careless to rely on the grace of others.

moving on- i met a girl on a plane. it was great, every question was out of the way. get the important stuff out of the way before hand. save yourself the trouble of dating the girl for four months before finding out the girl is not worth it. either way her name is ... well, her sister's name is billy jean.

changes

2006-02-19T22:26:00.000-05:00

it is with a heavy heart
placed terribly in my throat
as i watch, after you part
to my new days, and their new starts.
~t de a

things are going to get quieter around here. the 'tour de force' will not be held until we meet again- no one is ever up for that. if i thank either of you for anything, let it be to thank you for being great friends. your road turned quickly, but know there are more turns. frankie- thanks for all the breakfasts, and your early morning company.

i feel a splendid second birthday coming up. the 17th couldn't be any closer.

job search may be over. 32k has been issued as standard pay. perhaps i just need a new place to live. anyone need a spry, overly energetic, loud laughing roommate?

and my turn?

2006-02-13T07:52:00.001-05:00

teaming with false ideas
tightly forged arms
wrap around me
forcing my eyes
in one direction

going to work to-day was a little depressing. to help me cope, frankie thankfully decided to keep the early morning routine where i would stop by help finish breakfast and (you should be glad you are not around lucas) drink coffee. though when frankita leaves, that too will end. i suppose i could just try one of their neighbors, maybe they would like to start up a breakfast time.

so long levi- glad you are done in the warehouse. i would have been pissed if you didn't take this opportunity to get yourself closer to where you should be. you'll find something quickly frankie- you will see.

then there is the problem that i have. i have been feeling down lately. it seems that i might not actually be leaving for a new job, the pay here is (supposed) to increase, and it could beat the competition.
plus their is the grad school bit- i want to go, but i am having a very hard time coming up with some 'new' perspective. i want to apply by the end of february, but i dunno if it is possible.
matt is thankfully sending some books.

i believe that i have a problem- reliance. i daresay that i rely not on what is to be relied upon. it came to me last night, when like most nights i didn't sleep, that i am trying to hard to be a self-made man. i seemingly put only so much reliance on God, on whom i should be relying on unconditionally, unswervingly and without question. after such a realization, i am calling myself to a change.

i used to be ever a fan of taking step to some unknown part of my life. yet ever since i move to philly i have been placing myself into tight constricting restraints that do not allow for movement towards an unknown- thus making me less reliant on God who i (should) know will ever take care of me.

here we go.

looking after

2006-02-10T07:55:00.000-05:00

i hold your head deep in my arms
my fingertips they close your eyes
off you dream, my little child
there's a sun around the bend
~pearl jam

as some of you know- i have been looking for a job, with no luck, mind you. then, after a few months, i get offered two jobs. one in the field of shipping/receiving, the other just management at a plant of some sorts. both jobs require that i keep those under me accountable to their work (i do that now- so nothing really new). then the pay takes account.

new job #1:
$30,000 (told the guy i need more, waiting to hear)
8 hours a week, no weekends (possible overtime)
shipping/receiving/inventory/training new employees
~i will have to move closer to the city- which increases my expenses, thus i need more money.

new job #2:
$30,000 (with overtime that could bring it to $40,000)
no less than 8 hours a day, some saturdays.
planning work day for employees/supervising/filling in when someone is out.

current job:
to be increased to $32,000, currently $28,000
no weekends, hours vary.
shipping/receiving/inventory/training new employees/fill in/customer relations/accounts receivable/vendor maintenance/repair man/custodian/quality control/quality assurance.

so... any choice is moving up. i have places to stay, but expenses will increase, so the overtime will be nice. both of the other jobs require less work, less b.s. and probably a lower level of stress, but anyone who knows me, knows that stress is for the most part obsolete in my life as i am perhaps too immature to recognise it.

plus there is the whole idea of, what to do with grad school. is it ok to put it off for a bit? i am for 2 years, but how much longer should i? if i take either of the new jobs, i will be closer to colleges so that if i wanted to i could take a class or two. if i can get jeffery to pump out to 32.5k or 33k, then i would probably stay- i read about 200-300 pages a week, and still learning norwegian, so i think educationally i am doing ok.
decisions, decisions.

to-day's topic: spictor... i, i mean- victor

2006-01-29T20:14:00.000-05:00

this could be the very minute
i'm aware i'm alive
all these places feel like home

with a name i'd never chosen
i can make my first steps
as a child of 25

~snow patrol

<--disclaimer-->

victor- if you somehow learned how to use the computer and internet, both in your lifetime, don't hunt me down and kill me over this. just jokes. for the rest of you- it works best if you read it out loud.

for quite some time now i have been working a dead-end job for a 'friend.' at work i enjoy the company of levi and victor. we have known victor for a while now, and when you work close to someone all day, you are bound to here something ostentatious. perhaps something that contradicts the laws that newton and others based their lives on, something so utterly and completely impossible. actually, he's a buffoon.

to start- some background information about victor. he is about 5'1", 200lbs, extremely too long of hair, half columbian (mexican really) and half jordanian (middle-east equivalent of mexican), and total lack of motivation altogether, surrounded by a strong funk reminiscent to that of a moldy old camel with dead fish glued to it that has been running for days in the desert with a bad case of the trots coming out of a pool of garlic & quarter-pounder grease vat smoldering in the summer sun.

after saving these quotes up, levi and i have decided to put them into blog form for your enjoyment:

1. 'almost' (i almost didn't come to work to-day, i almost quit yesterday...)
2. this is taking way to long (aka- i hate working)
3. all sorts of fucked up (aka it can be fixed in two minutes)
4. buku bucks (apparently a form of money that rich people have [ie. 'those guys make buku bucks,' as in the guys from staples.] victor has no idea of the economic system)
5. i do a mean james brown (or he cannot sing to save his soul)
6. i've still got it (when a girl looks at him with pity because he could have a form of mental retardation)
7. i know all the cops in this town (his ex-gf's dad was a cop- and most cops get along well with foreigners like victor)
8. i know the guys at this place- don't go in there (the place might just have a bad shutter- apparently the tell-tale signs of dope houses everywhere)
9. jo-jo? (his ex-gf is seemingly everywhere you turn around)
10. let me put it to you this way (just another poorly worded example that offers no clarity whatsoever)
11. i need to leave early to-day (aka- i hate working)
12. i need more hours (aka- i have no money cause i keep leaving work early)
13. i'm not fat, i just have this huge rib cage (ill placement of blame. that huge rib cage is made of quarter-pounders)
14. informative packlet (a poorly worded example of the 'information packet')
15. yeah man, just keep making fun of me- see what happens (trust me, nothing happens)
16. i need a smoke (aka- i hate working. he never inhales)
17. by the end of this summer i am gonna look like a greek god (that is just hilarious)
18. d00d if you ever want some good cigars, i'll get some next time i go to the dominican republic (i guess all mexicans have their contacts)
19. does it stink in here (it is usually him smelling his own stink)
20. i've got so much to do (still lives in his car with his dogs and a hernia, working on his patents)

sometimes work can be so much fun i can barely contain myself.

mr. bush- i effectively despise you.

2006-01-29T08:41:00.000-05:00

my heart is yours
it's you that i hold on to
that's what i do
and i know i was wrong
but i won't let you down
~coldplay

you probably already guessed it (rew did), this is a rant.

i just cannot help but think that saddam is on trial for the murder of some 200 people, some of which have tried to kill him. saddam actually had others do the job. bush has put to death a number of greater value, a mere 153 deaths can be attributed to him through death penalties, and who knows how many other thousands in iraq. and none of these people have ever tried to kill him, unlike saddam's situation. it is natural that people are to be punished for a crime. how many innocent have died due to the decision of our president? yet not even a slap on the wrist. made up information (which was called even at the time of its making) was used to help sway american view. and now we have no more privacy, lets burn the constitution in wake of the homeland security. i feel less secure about living here now that that piece of shit act came to be.

it is quite odd that if you are rich enough, you are considered 'good' for what you do, being a world superpower helps too. i have also noticed that the american 'doing what is right' aspect typically involves making your own rules and 'by any means necessary.' we find it in our fiction books (some) and in our movies where the 'good' guy is actually a bad guy who gets to live by his own set of rules and takes out all of the 'bad' guys- without any sort of consequence. so the u.s. is good and can/will not be held accountable for what it does.

i don't think that i have any real direction that i am going with this, just sharp thoughts that piss me off when i think about them.

hvordan har det du?

2006-01-07T00:22:00.000-05:00

i'm celebrating my love for you
with a pint of beer and a new tattoo
and if you haven't noticed yet
i'm more impressionable when my cement is wet
~billy bragg

sometimes i think the earth is awfully lucky. it has a pal that is always following it around. sure it is one of the fastest friends someone could have at 2,287 mph, but it is just going in circles for goodness sakes. the only thing going around me is my farts- and no one wants those around no matter how fast they are.

things in the air- applications in hands of hopeful employers, and someone came in to work to-day looking for a job. hell, he can have mine in just a few weeks. new application to be filled out by february for grad school. then the long wait starts before i can get an answer back- three months. three hours is long enough- months? does it really take that long? i would like to know a bit sooner- but i will have to take what i can get.

the new macs are out. thinking about selling this one, getting the newer one. decisions, decisions.

another year under my belt

2006-01-02T18:19:00.000-05:00

tabloid generation's lost
choking on it's fear
used to be that's all we had to fear
conscience keeps us quiet while the crooked love to speak
there's knowledge wrapped in blankets on the streets
a visionary cowardsays that anger can be power
as long as there's a victim on tv
~goo goo dolls

this year, like previous, we went to kris and dave's to watch the waning of the old year. this year i have undertaken the task of fulfilling resolutions that i have made. this is the first year in quite some time, only because i have been, for some time now, resolute. why should the 'baby' new year make me feel like improving myself? i am not all that bad. friggin babies.

so here are my resolutions. i hear that matt has a sign up sheet for those who want to skip the resolution bit and join his revolution.

1. thanks to last year i am now literate, this year i want to be legible. (anyone know where i can buy that kindergarten paper with the lines in it?)

2. with knowledge that i can buy 1¢ and 5¢ stamps, i plan on writing more letters, and making a postal employee's day much more fun stamping out my numerous stamps. (so i need some addresses)

3. i want to learn proper sentence formation and structure. (then watch it digress next new years' eve)

4. to be able to speak and read norwegian (jeg snakker barre litt norsk)

5. to get a new job.

6. to get into a college. (and it better be in australia)

7. increase my heavier lifts by 40 lbs, and my minor lifts by 15 lbs. (even if i wait until december i could just buy some steroids, right)

see- nothing over the top. perhaps i am a bit over-ambitious, but a little bit of coffee and two nights, you would be amazed at what i could do. just ask me about my $2,000 story.

home

2005-12-23T14:18:00.000-05:00

what have we done with innocence
it disappeared with time, it never made much sense
adolescent resident
wasting another night on planning my revenge

~foo fighters

as i was in need of change, and for those who thought it was hard enough to read this blog- it's gonna get worse! nah, not really. but, here is the new look. that's right, same ol crap, only this isn't brown.

moving on, moving on...

i am home now, hanging out with my old crew that knows me best. as some crazy, laughing like satan, someone never to be dared, does the oddest things ever, 'book of useless information' billy.

mike, kyle, and amanda came down to pick me up. it was everso nice of them. many funny things were said, for example:

kyle: billy, where are you sleeping to-nite
amanda: in my bed. wait- i meant i am sleeping in my bed. billy sleeps on the floor.

all fun and fun.

well, after we get home- what do we do? we rally up the troops and head to kelly's- the worst 'irish' bar ever. the only thing irish in there was me and enia (sp- i think there is an o in there too) (pronounced on-ya). either way- some kid i never recall meeting ever in my life said, 'sure i remember billy mckinstry- you seem way too calm though, you better crank it up a notch. i remember you being rowdy.' gosh- can't a guy just drink his gin in piece? maybe i don't want to burn the place down, maybe i just want to keep to myself.

happy christmas all. i here that there is a movie that needs watching. and a guinness that needs drinking.

gas prices will soar... or will they?

2005-12-20T17:36:00.000-05:00

one fish
two fish
red fish
blue fish

hey georgie- venezuela wants to make our oil company pay more for thier oil! what are you going to do about it? they are socialists too!!! we should invade- only to spread democracy of course, then we can work out the oil issue...

moving onwards

2005-12-18T15:12:00.000-05:00

what is the world, o soldiers?
it is i:
i, this incessant snow,
this northern sky;
soldiers, this solitude
through which we go
it is i.

~Napolean

another year down, another hilarious Christmas party done. this year i might have been a little silly. thankfully this year levi and frankie were there, a more enjoyable time. i won't lie- i stole the show again this year for a little while. but that is what i do in social settings, especially when there have been a drink involved. a couple of drinks... a few drinks... loads?

the next day i woke up like i usually do, on the floor with no covers because i kicked them off as i apparently run some sort of marathon in my sleep. well i rose, unlocked my door (high alert security mode ever since... well... i don't have to tell you what happened), and went to check the mail. and what was inside? "pray, tell- billy what was in the mail?"

and since you asked, i will tell you! in the mail was a yummy plate of cookies. my favorite kind, the peanut-butter cookies with the hershey's kiss on top. love 'em. those were sent by jeff and mary, a perfect couple up in rochester, ny that befriended me. then, the other package (that's right, i am most popular on saturdays) was from kyli, the high-tech, good lookin mac girl. she sent me some nice little products for the mac, and the end to my lack of great ac/dc tunes.

to-day i am in philly visiting kris and dave and rew. we saw the narnia movie and i enjoyed it quite much. i thought that if disney had a hand it in, it could get mega crappy mega quick. yet a delightful surprise. however, it was very hot inside. i took off my hoodie and then my overshirt, and if were weren't in such high society downtown philly- i would have taken off my undershirt.

oh, and good 'ol bush is finally admitting to some stuff, albiet months, years after the fact. lucas and i were talking, why is it that bush has not been subject to a huge investigation. in time perhaps.

long live the queen

phone numbers

2005-12-10T23:48:00.000-05:00

behind your sealed eyes you miss
all that i've done for you
will you catch me when i run?

if timing plays evident
what would you say when you're late?

coheed and cambria

to-nite i was at starbucks- yeah that's right, wanna fight? besdies, i get my best reading done there. most people just walk by, some stop to talk about whatever book it is that i am reading. on this particular of nights i was reading the wind and the willows, the problem of pain, and national geographic (november issue, so what if i'm a bit behind).

as anyone could tell you (ask lucas or matt), i get a little crazy with coffee. but for some reason i tend to control myself whilst at the coffee place, but then i read extremely quick, and become a bit nervy. to-nite though, i kept being interrupted by girls. no- i am not that guy who hides behind his book and stares. that creepy guy was two tables up- and he looked creepy too. the interruption came with phone numbers. two in two hours. makes a guy feel good.

problem: they looked to be about (and giggled enough) to be 17 at best. i don't call girls who are 17. and i guarantee when they find out i am 25, the good feeling will pass. why can't cute 20 something girls leave me their numbers?

finally- there is some snow down here in quakertown

2005-12-06T17:42:00.000-05:00

it may have been camelot for jack and jacqueline
but on the che guevara highway filling up with gasoline
fidel castro’s brother spies a rich lady who’s crying
over luxury’s disappointment
so he walks over and he’s trying
to sympathise with her but he thinks that he should warn her
that the third world is just around the corner

in the soviet union a scientist is blinded
by the resumption of nuclear testing and he is reminded
that dr robert oppenheimer’s optimism fell
at the first hurdle

in the cheese pavilion and the only noise i hear
is the sound of someone stacking chairs
and mopping up spilt beer
and someone asking questions and basking in the light
of the fifteen fame filled minutes of the fanzine writer

mixing pop and politics he asks me what the use is
i offer him embarrassment and my usual excuses
while looking down the corridor
out to where the van is waiting
i’m looking for the great leap forwards

jumble sales are organised and pamphlets have been posted
even after closing time there’s still parties to be hosted
you can be active with the activists
or sleep in with the sleepers
while you’re waiting for the great leap forwards

one leap forward, two leaps back
will politics get me the sack?

here comes the future and you can’t run from it
if you’ve got a blacklist i want to be on it

it’s a mighty long way down rock ’n roll
from top of the pops to drawing the dole

if no one seems to understand
start your own revolution and cut out the middleman

in a perfect world we’d all sing in tune
but this is reality so give me some room

so join the struggle while you may
the revolution is just a t-shirt away
waiting for the great leap forwards

~billy bragg

happy Christmas all.

ryden_santa_worm_432
Originally uploaded by revenantananias.

not much happening here. finally i found someone who is more able it the mac world than myself. surely i am not amazing, only just recently switching from pc, but she is, and cute to boot. let's see... something gross happened at the gym. i was lifting a heavier weight than usual, and i needed a spotter. levi natrually whimped out on my that day, so i asked the nearest guy who didn't seem like it was his first time at the gym. sadly, i picked the sweatiest guy there. he thankfully wiped off his face, but as i got to the end of my set, one drop of sweat hit me squarley (or circularly since it was a drop) between the eyes. gross.

about time for a new job too. i am looking like no one's business. i am tried of working where i am, it is not that great. plus- i am worth more.

rant

2005-11-08T20:22:00.000-05:00

not sure where i would rather be
you could not keep up, i've more luck
when all your luck's run out on me
your life holds you, you're bound and stuck

semi-official warning- this is going to be a rant. it could be funny. it could be terrible. you might laugh your arse off, you might stare blankly at the screen. you might write me a comment, you might write me hate mail with 'taco smuggler' and other hurtful phrases. you might be glad to know me, you might pretend we never met. you might wait until you see me to call me 'taco smuggler', i might punch you in the arm.

starting off- fun size. what the hell is 'fun size'? every year tons of people with money buy (those with no money steal, but not all of them) tons of cleverly wrapped cavities and give them out to tons of little children dressed up like their future selves (and some older kids who can't be bothered to steal their own candy, dress up; or mostly just wear their normal clothes). most of the little packages that are given out say clearly on the side 'fun size'.

now if i know anything about fun size and candy, and i do, it is that a two pound bag of peanut m&m's® is loads more fun than a tiny bag containing little more than 6 of them. i know that a king size snickers® is more fun than one 1/12 of the size.

and then there is the peanut butter. i love peanut butter, especially between pieces of bread. or watching a dog lick it repeatedly off the roof of its mouth. i do not like just any kind of peanut-butter, i only like crunchy. creamy is for wimps (or the little cavity stricken kids with rotten teeth). which brings me to another misnomer- extra chunky peanut-butter. read my lips, no such thing. extra crunchy peanut-butter is just a jar of planters® peanuts.

and lastly- deli selects®. i dunno what company off the top of my head makes it, but they claim to be 'just like the deli'. only when i go to the deli, i see the ham, turkey, peppered pastrami, salami and the likes. i see the wrapper on the side of the uncut cured corpse just the other side of the glass. there is no crazy words that begin with 'p' and tarry on for about 17 syllables, and consonants like x, y, k (usually found together) called 'preservatives'. so, 'just like' now becomes, close- but with added cancer.

stay tuned!

late morning thoughts

2005-10-19T08:45:00.000-05:00

how crisp the wind has become
sounds of the living things fade
summer birds to winter homes
now empty the forest glades
t. de a.

saddam is now on trial. the case is surrounding the deaths of 143 men (who were killed due to their part in an assassination attempt). later charges are said to be brought against him for the gassing of another 5,000 people. this leaves me to wonder about our own country and current presidency.

i am guessing that saddam did not kill all of these people single handedly. and it seems like a pretty good guess. i am sure that he placed the order, and that the order was carried out. now think about our leader. according to a few papers, and web pages like this one, there have been more deaths to civilians done by the 'good guys' then the terrorists. even still, u.s. forces and allies have killed a rather large number of terrorists as well. these terrorist were said to have threatened our way of life. isn't that what happened with those 143 men who attempted to take saddam's life? and we make sure he comes to justice. just gets me thinking is all.

happy birthday

2005-10-13T11:50:00.000-05:00

just a quick note- i notice that i have not the birthday planning everyone else seems to have.

so everyone- if you want a card that has does not correspond with your birthday at all, kindly leave your birthday and address.

All Hail Emperor Norton I

2005-10-12T08:10:00.000-05:00

another fruitful year gone by
your time passes with just a sigh
you always have it, walking, in your hand
being very quiet. my, my.

the end of my twenty-fourth year
good spirits, good times, full of cheer
walking in and out of that marching band
mayhaps i have had too much beer.
t. de a.

for a good read, and trivial history- read about emperor norton. nothing better than reading about a quack crazier than you.

personally

2005-10-05T12:09:00.000-05:00

Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	Moderate
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low

thanks to jonathan kufus, i found out some things about myself. i would have never thought that i was anitsocial. narcissistic- so what i have great hair! histionic- come one, it's not like i go out of my way to be the center of attention. schizotypal- what odd mannerisms do i have? name one. nevermind, make that ten, what ten odd things do i do?

terrible

2005-09-27T10:21:00.000-05:00

dark clouds and crisp winds
send the message
autumn now begins
t. de a.

if you look here, someone decided to rant. don't get me wrong- ranting can be fun. but this is terrible. it starts with perhaps a quote?

'No country is more than three meals away from a revolution. This truism...'

hand brake comes on, my eyes do a quick reverse powerslide 180. i believe that i like all words that have an -ism at the end, it helps to encompass an idea. but i hate 'truism'. and is this true?

'We will pick ourselves up, brush ourselves off, and carry on in a way that shows why we are where we are in the world'

and how is it that we are 'where we are'? it seems to me that we stopped being hardworking, and now we are just in debt up to our great-grandchildren eyeballs.

'The US may have taken a few hard shots lately, but we will not wait for the rest of the world to bail us out (it is doubtful they would anyway - it is always our job to bail them out).'

'We will not sit around and wait for the world to come to our rescue. We will not complain that the amount of aid offered is too small and demand more'

. -that's the arrogance we're looking for.

well, read it as you wish. i am rather disgusted that this hooligan is representing my country.

and for the next one...

'When the mandatory evacuation was announced, the government knew that several thousand poor people could not afford to leave the city. So, instead of taking them in buses out to higher land, they decided to herd them like cattle into the Superdome.'

well, the egineer said the building was structurally sound, cost effective, and didn't these people not want to leave in the first place? and i recall reading in the news that many who went to the superdome wanted to stay there.

'The city of New Orleans has about 75% of its people living below the poverty line. No one ever hears about that, all we see is Bourbon Street and Mardi Gras.'

right. and that occurs in other states too. there are states that are producing many new jobs, perhaps this is just me- but if i were poor and i could move to get a better job, or even a job, i would. i do not believe that these people were sooooooooo poor that they could not go 100 miles or so out of the way of the hurricane.

'I believe if this disaster occurred in an area with a majority of white middle-class citizens, the response would have been much quicker.'

would it? with most of our help overseas, would it? if someone tells me mack truck it coming to crash right into my house- i leave. should the u.s. have a stockpile of canned food, blankets, shelter, and oil stockpiled for every emergency ever known? stockpile for volcanoe (mt. st. helen's), earthquake (california), etc... i feel we would not have the room.

everywhere you live you are more at risk for certain things. if you live in cali and think you will never witness an earthquake- that you will be fine, you are a moron. people in florida know that hurricane's hit that area. people in kansas know about tornadoes.

i am not saying anyone deserves this- but i believe they knew the risks, and heeded not to the warnings. it takes time to mount a huge relief effort after such a disaster, not seconds.

globes, maps, and loose women

2005-09-23T06:55:00.000-05:00

quiet is the change
renders autumn
and no one detects
'til it is too late
~t de a

...did when thinking of mapping out my life. but can you map a journey like life? linear movements are just lines, no? i know little cartographers, and little of them like straight lines, but perhaps you cannot teach an old dog new tricks. and is 'life mapping' any different from 'life planning'? mapping leaves one to go in one direction only; plans can be subject to change. within the same note, to reach the goal, in which the map is intended for, might one find a supplemental route? though it seems probable- maps typically have but one set of directions or route to follow. so yes, i suppose that they are different indeed.

with that in mind, it seems better to plan out life, rather than map it and limit your direction. unless of course you have only one desire. as it has be said, though, the world cares not for man- it makes no exceptions for him. which is where planning comes in. plans can help one rebound to find an alternate way to meet his goals. maps can involve too much idle time (and we all know what happens when some of us (me) are left to be idle) waiting for the right moment before one can go on. instead of waiting, changing the plan will allow one to keep moving, perhaps learn something new.

i suppose one could map his life to the present, but that just seems like one long continual straight line, an insufferable chore. perhaps better is a book detailing trumped versions of what really happened. and then he could be famous.

some people have maps that lead them to buried treasure. i have a plan to make the best peanut butter and raspberry jam sandwhich i have had in weeks. think of me if you find riches.

decisions

2005-09-12T07:24:00.000-05:00

some people have braces.
some people have headgear.
fran could play linebacker for the raiders.
~strongbad

if anyone (except mexican's, foreign diplomats, anonymous commenter telling me about body jewelry, and people with the middle name 'noel') knows anything at all about the 'rosetta stone' language programme, please tell me. for some odd (recurring theme in my life) reason i am thinking of learning the language of norway. i mean why not? i think i might see about going there at some point as well, if the Lord allows me to live so long. i think it would be nice to learn how to say phrases like, "the cow with it's back legs on land isn't fully on the ice," in norwegian. or american sayings like, "take this job and shove it."

i doubt i will enjoy the music- though i do love this little song that i have that plays in the background of this flash-video of a bunny destroying the british parliament and its head turning into margaret thatcher's. outside of that i have no real taste for the music. but what an experience, no?

all of this because i read about their great living situation. just fantastic. and what temperature! highest average temp is just about 70! decisions, decisions.

just don't dare me- ever!

2005-09-04T23:01:00.000-05:00

hmm

care to dance?

2005-09-01T16:40:00.000-05:00

so picture this face
and burn it to flame
to shelter it at home
at the fire place
and all the memory will fade
with the flick of the flame
~coheed and cambria

to-day i noticed something. want to know what that something is? dancing, and bad dancing at that. it has become apparent that the more music videos i see, the more i notice that people can sing- but they sure as heck cannot dance. (note that the only reason that i watch music videos is because that is the only thing on the t.v.s when i am at the gym)

of no particular order. the names that are in caps share the same heritage as myself- that's right i show favoritism!

Dolores ORiordan (the cranberries)
david lee roth (van halen)
deborah harry (blondie)
michael stipe (rem)
steven tyler (aerosmith)
axl rose (guns and roses)
robert plant (led zeppelin)

the list could go on, but i am rather amazed that these folks even try to dance. though it would make a weird video if they didn't i supposes. but then again, lots of music videos are devoid of dancing.

i heart cops

2005-08-16T10:11:00.000-05:00

children walking under mulberry skies
the old conductor freezes on the other spies...
see you walking with a suit and a tie
children water all the skim off the sides...
we got some winters from the old lost and found
the world disorder in a stereo sound...
~rogue wave

cops are fun. they really are good sports. and if you have not guessed it- this story is yet another addition to my overwhelming amount of luck. i am the luckiest person i know. here it goes:

while driving down rt. 309 on a beautiful overcast mid 70 degree day, i passed a cop. not only was i speeding- but i blew him a kiss. i mean, why not- it must be lonely being in a squad car all by yourself with nothing but the dispatch and radar gun at your finger tips. plus, really, it is funny. the cop was digesting some crispy creams while on the median watching passers-by with a glaze over his eyes and fingers. then i drove by, giving him kisses safely from the other side of my 1/4" driver's side window. didn't the cop whip on the lights and peel out from the median to come after me. for some reason he turned the m off again, only to keep his headlights flashing at me. well, i stayed in the passing lane- i mean really, that road is busy, and i didn't feel like pulling over. after about 1-2 mins i did pull over to the slow lane- but not off the road. he followed me and then pulled out around me and pulled over the person in front of me. if the technology ever existed, i would bottle up my energy and luck. i would be a billioniare. luck is easy though- i'm irish.

new!

2005-08-06T19:59:00.000-05:00

bye-bye beautiful
don't bother to write
disturbed by your words
and they're calling all cars
face step, let down
face step, step down
~coheed & cambria

does anyone find it weird that i happen to lay awake at night, only to take a stroll outside and look as high as i can? the other night i felt odd knowing that 247 miles above the people there need not have a fear of falling. moving at 17,500 mph, they have no fear of crashing. a life i will never know.

manhandle

2005-07-21T07:06:00.000-05:00

i've seen ideas
written some myself
you had a good plan
let's pull it off the shelf
~t.de.a.

to start, boo-friggin-hoo! if anyone cares to take a look, rice seems to have been accosted. you will get no sympathy from me. after all that the u.s. has done- she gets pissed over a bit of a rough time. come on! i can't blame any country thinking of us as bastards when they hear about the mistreatment of the arab peoples. rice demanded an apology, but seriously- has the u.s. issued a formal apology to the arab world? i could be wrong, but i don't think we have. and i don't think they should hold their breath either.

on happier notes- coheed and cambria has a new album coming out in september. and if you go to the new album's website you can see the cover art and hear a selected song. i am rather excited.

on to funnier notes- why in the world do older women suddenly want to be hip? examples start now: sadly one day i was watching the tele and i was flipping through the channels and some older lady wanted a make-over and boob job. come on! my neighbor on the one side is slightly older, 40's, and she wears hip girl pants that slightly rub on the ground and carries one of those weird girl tiny back-packs. YOUR TIME IS OVER! i know i just broke my caps rule, but seriously. you can be cool and hip at the rummy table, you don't have to try to be cool with your daughter's and/or granddaughter's friends. you will not be picking up any hottie's anytime soon. if there are old perverted men out there, they want the real thing- younger girls in the hip clothes, not the old women they are leaving at home.

phew! now that that is out of the way.

meet me at the pretentious badger

2005-07-18T18:40:00.000-05:00

if when you sighed
a particular banter
it's from stepping on cracks
that mother died
~t.de.a.

'ring ring'

bonnie: hello?
me: hey bonnie
bonnie: who is this
me: billy
bonnie: billy who?
me: how many other billy's do you know?
bonnie: tell me something that only billy would do
me: how about me and matt driving through canada drinking and driving?
bonnie: oh! billy mckinstry! how are you?

and then a little be later

bonnie: you are the biggest paradox
me: what?
bonnie: you are studying ethics and yet you are the worst person ever.

am i really? come on now! i prefer crafty, if you will.

if you haven't seen willy wonka yet, you should. it was hilarious- except the part where danny elfman is creepy (but i won't spoil it). just do what wonka says and you will be ok, "don't touch that's squirrels nuts!"

this month so far, i have worked just over one whole week and i have never been paid so handsomely. in fact- my company sent me away to norwalk, ohio for some management training. but who could really see me doing that when cedar point is right next door? not only did i go and had a great time, but my company paid for it. though they didn't know until i told them.

rew stopped up for the movie, in fact it was his idea. later i went to tina's house- and if she has never made you a pie you should get her to, because her strawberry pie is 'scrum-didely-umptious'. not that she made it for me, but you better bet i ate some. i brought her some fig newtons though. um... that's a fair trade, no?

why would you do such a thing

2005-07-07T17:06:00.000-05:00

a weak spring in eternity
recall the raw falling blood
void his thousand pound whispers
sleep on what roads you can
& watch your shadows
~t.de.a.

'why would you do such a thing?' if you haven't guessed it- that is canook talk. let me start from the beginning. rew did the canada kick off up in good 'ol westport, right next to rideau lake, and matt and myself decided to take the scenic route through newark, new jersey. for what reason, i don't know- perhaps matt's early birthday present.
after setting the new and correct course and many miles later, we ended up at the border where we were greeted by canook border patrol. i filled up the lane instead of waiting- which i didn't know was a problem. and then this conversation took place:

mounty: 'where are you guys from?'
me: 'new york.'
mounty: 'do they have stop signs in new york?'
me: 'they have a few' - i decided not to mention that i never ever obey them, in fact ticket number 11 was for just that reason (that ticket also, like the others, was dropped to parking on the curb).
mounty: 'what does it say at the bottom?' me: 'stop?' - it was not pertinent to bring up the fact that the bottom part was french, and that i couldn't read it. but in english at the top it said to wait until lane was clear, but in my defense- it was just a stop sign.
me: 'sorry.' mounty: 'why did you do such a thing?' me: 'should i back up?'

eventually we were let through, but not before hearing one more 'why would you do such a thing". only a few minutes into the socialists campground did i have a funny idea- drink and drive in canada. matt and i cracked open a murphy's each (just one though, you can drive home after one- heck maybe more, it's canada for heaven's sake!).

from that point on, matt and i decided to say, 'why would you do such a thing' and variations, and 'hectoliter' all the while in canada; which i think we did very well.

matt and i were also accosted while throwing darts. a phone call chimes in as i am about to throw my last dart- and it's david young saying something about waiting for us to eat lunch. matt got a wry smile on his face and said, 'we're at a pub.' first day in, and we were caught in a pub.

many great times were had by all. who would have thought that going to canada could prove such a great time? i suppose it would have been harder if we had not the use of croquet and boccé, and then our combined sport of croccé (pronounced 'crotchy' not crotchety').

and is there news of a new hampshire calling? i do hope so.

last but not least, here is grade 'a' top choice meat

sin

2005-06-22T21:17:00.000-05:00

in our days we formed insignias
the passing glance unstamped
we've rendered ourselves powerless, fortunate
the useless mend the fixed

and on every hour it detonates
my courage goes unlooked
the ride home through perilous
the land it goes, i will...
~coheed & cambria

i had an interesting conversation the other day, and perhaps some of you could help me. the talk was about sin. a friend of mine said that it was stupid that any sin could damn one to hell. he believed that lying about taking a cookie was better than killing someone.

on the grand scheme of things i think that lying about taking a cookie does seem less terrible an offense than killing someone. however, the sin is sin. i tried to break it down to him this way- if you j-walk, you are breaking the law. if you murder someone, you are breaking the law. in either case you are breaking the law and are subject to penalty. if you lie about a cookie, or murder someone, you are subject to penalty.

does that make sense at all?

why i am the devil part ii

2005-06-09T18:56:00.000-05:00

and i am throwing away
the letters that i am writing you
cause they would never do
i would never do, never.
~dashboard confessional

after a near accident, if i ever call a certain friend- she might not answer. i have called my friend kate a few times just to see what is going on in her life and yack, yack, yack. most times she is on the road. and recently i have been informed by her that she feels hexed by my phone calls.

of the last three phone calls- bad things have happened. and two of those calls are from the same day. the first one ended with her spending some amount of money to pay for a ticket after an on duty cop flickered his mighty 'i am the law' power.

second and third time went like this. i called, her car over-heats. she tells me that she has to go and to call her back in a few minutes. and i do call her back- only to have her hang-up instantly. so i figured that she will call me back when she is ready to apologize for being a most terrible friend.

only when she calls, she tells me that i am the terrible friend! me, the nice guy who calls just to say hello, not calling cause he is bored- called for the hello. then she tells me that as soon as she saw my name she thought twice about picking up- and then she did and so did her car hood. so she hung up on me to save her life. and called me back just to let me know that i am satan. what a friend.

would you believe it if i told it backwards?

2005-06-05T17:02:00.000-05:00

what my eyes have seen
and my hands have felt
would have been forgotten
if scars failed to reveal
~t.de.a.

fridays are unofficially my day to be a pain in the ass. and i have a lot of fun at it. just this friday there was a company outing where we said goodbye to and employee who was a lot of fun. as some of you might have already guessed- i already planned on being a pain in the ass before i got to the restaurant. when i sat down i ordered my typical guinness and decided to order grilled salmon for my main course. then my waiter starts in, and i followed...

waiter: "supersalad?"
me: "what? i don't know, how good is it?"
waiter: "supersalad?"
me: "was he like this with the rest of you guys?"
erin: "yeah, i don't get it either"

now the waiter is still staring at me with his pen and not explaining anything
waiter: "supersalad"
me: "well, i don't know... do you have any excellent salads, or mediocre salads, or piss poor salads?"

waiter: "wait, what? no... soup... or... salad..."
me: "well you don't have to speak like you have downs- i can now tell that you like talking like the micromachines guy- make it soup, no make it supersoup!"

later that evening i heard another waiter say to a customer, "i'm sorry sir, someone has stolen your fish- our cook is making another one." then i say, "oh no- i am eating it right now, the fish is really good too. i stole some money too!"

oh and later- my boss/roommate said that the one girl he has working for him at the store is hot- but that he cannot date the help. so- just to piss him off, her and i left dinner and went up to the bar. and i got digits. good times, good times.

"and now for my next miracle, i'll turn water into funk"

while bleak sincerity gives way to incandescent clarity

2005-05-28T10:22:00.000-05:00

you're the next disappointing boom
burning out in the same black room
nothing's real if you read the news
if you bled the blues
prove it to the world
now drink and be real
this is the last time

so this trip is done, and these days as sure to follow. i think lately i have been trying to make plans with my life- and when i do that it gets all sorts of crappy. and then i act, no offense of course, like you guys. i have a chapter of grace that is over one thousand pages long, and it seems that recently that i had tried a new chapter. and that one sucked. i used to be so carefree about anything and everything.

and now i am going to revert. i am so done with the nonsense of, "oh my gosh what am i going to do?" the burdens of worrisomeness makes me sleepy- something i am usually not. so i am to revert to my 'younger' self. back before possessions, back before money, back to the chapter of grace- which i am sure will be added to. won't my autobiography be fun? i mean, really, i am irish.

now i am gonna go shower- cause i am good like that

passing thoughts

2005-05-19T12:21:00.000-05:00

"every moment
that you're here
I feel lashes on my ear
subtle difference disappears"

well, anne boleyn was beheaded to-day. that is to say, this day a number of years ago.

soon i should be leaving the company of an old friend. which is just as well i think. sometimes you can learn too much about a person when you are really not looking to find it. and anyways- i have never been in the same spot for more than a year anyways.

i should soon be leaving again after my next move. this time a cross-continental flight is to carry me and my few possessions to a new adventure. my life is one adventure with several chapters. sometimes i wonder how long a book would be if i were to write all of them down. it is hard for people to picture some of the stories i tell, unless of course, they have met me. those of you who know me know that i have some truly great stories. and surely those of you who know me know that i will have a great many more.

i wonder if i will settle down ever. actually plan things out, stop flying by the seat of my pants. if i do- i wonder if the rest of me will change. would i start wearing a shirt? would i seem like a dog who has been fixed? would my words change? words tend to get people into trouble- mine seem to keep me from it, and only in the fact that they tend to make people laugh.

i suppose if i did write a book of my adventures, i would certainly have to devote a whole (and rather long) chapter to grace, for it is just that that has kept me here so long, and kept me from notable setbacks, some of which might have kept me from my newest adventure.

p.s. mattathias- as it stands, i cannot get a masters by coursework for philosophy at the university of melbourne, so i need to do it by masters by research, aka big ass paper. i was thinking the idea of rights, human rights, and their claims to them. what do you think? i can email you more specifics if you would like.

why i am the devil

2005-05-12T18:57:00.000-05:00

"continuing failing these trials
but you stand by me nonetheless
and you won't let me sink though i'm begging you
i'm begging you"

a lot of weird things have been happening to me as of late. most recently i went to subway. "surely," you say, "there is nothing that would make you seem like the devil there." and you would be wrong- dead wrong. as normally as i can be, i proceeded like any other normal day to order a delicious italian bmt, foot-long of course. by the time i get my choice of cheese and other condiments onto my sub, hoagie, hero- whathave you, i went to pay. after adding a medium drink the grand total is: $6.66. i have bought this combo several times without that number staring at me from behind the costumer charge window.

i then started laughing, and for those of you who have heard my laugh- it can be quite loud, ominous, frightening, insert other adjectives. more than once, ask matt reed, i have been told i laugh like satan. matt heard a passerby describe me upon hearing my laugh as satan. though i have never met the fallen one- i liken to think that my laugh is much more deep and abrasive. maybe i will never know.

the moderately older lady behind the register took three steps back and stared at me. she would not touch my money, i laid it on the counter- took the seventh dollar bill back and replaced it with exact change which i acquired from the person standing next to me in the line of hungry health conscious gurus swayed by those commercials of that fat guy gone skinny. and even then someone else had to finish the money transaction for the scared old lady. now comes the very funny part- she was of hispanic decent- and i am sure you already guessed it, "es diablo."

and if any of you know tina mann or frankie soon to be married, ask them what my odometer read when we were in the church parking lot one fine sunday morning- 666. another time with tina, she asked me how many crunches she did- i guessed 120. i was right. she was shocked, and we were just discussing how my friends back home call me satan cause i guess things like that too precisely. she then follows with another question hoping to lead to the answer of the number of crunches that her friend did, i guess 80. right.

a very old friend just bought a lap-top computer, and asked me how much he paid for it. well- he lives in guam, and i have not seen him in a very long time. he told me nothing of the lap-top other than it was a dell. so i just guessed. i replied that it probably has 128mb ram, 60 gigs, 15 inch display, and 64mb graphics card, about 850. a long silence was broken by the words i hear all to often when someone i know describes me- "SATAN!"

so for those of you who know me- perhaps you should be wary, i might be incognito. or an angel in disguise- i mean really, doing devilish things is a great disguise for an angel, no?

if any of you have a story that i missed involving me being satan- feel free to add it in the comments.

2005-05-04T15:15:00.000-05:00

"i'll be sure to write" "and i'll be sure to learn how to read"

watch out, nukes are coming!

2005-05-02T19:01:00.000-05:00

"and i was asleep where the lord showed his worth
i jumped down the well where the water was hurt
before falling angels must glide back to earth
send down a bucket of girls"

ok, honestly- i know that the north koreans shot a missile. then while i was running my routine six minute mile, i almost fell off the treadmill as i was struck with laughter. it was so amazing, "headlining news, north korea has just become a nuclear threat to the united states." oh? cause i just read that they only had 'long range attack missiles' that went just as far as japan. so who is lying- who is hyping it up? don't get me wrong- i can make a story sound 8 times better than the way it actually happens too, but with the most interesting life i lead i don't have to.

and i love- 'the terror level has just been lowered now to yellow.' good, now i can stop buy water from the store, and refill my old storage water bottles, stop wearing my bullet proof vest, take the bars off my window, collect my mail, and let my friends know of my new secret password to get into my house.

now, i know everyone knows of micheal moore- and though i think he bent our eyes as far as he could, i do agree with his one statement that the chance of me being attacked by a terrorist is... rounding up- about 0%-1%. sure i am severely sorry for those families that went through it, i am sorry for those still trying to make it, but long and short- i am not buying a set of metal chained ladders so that i can climb out of my window in case of a terrorist attack.

i am getting away from the start of this... ah yes, north korea. how concerned should we be. "star wars works," few, then we can shoot that stuff out of the sky. but their long range attack is very limited- and that is not to say that mayhaps japan should be concerned- that was not the new report. it focused soley on the idea that we, the u.s., could be at risk of attack. not very likely at all.

though i do not quite know the instability of a poorer nation like north korea, i am still not at all concerned with getting 'nuked.'

so i will continue to run my six minute miles worry free.

if i were leonard bernstein, i would...

2005-04-22T14:43:00.000-05:00

"it's 3 a.m.
and i'm up again
answering the call of all
the flowers by the bed
make me wish my head
was light and possessed by truth alone
a certain home
a wooden gate, a rabbit hole
we'll turn around it won't be long
capture that place, won't it be fun"

i just recently heard on the radio that there is company pushing for other car companies to start making fully electrical 'plug in' cars. that it would save money that is used on fuel, lessen the dependence on fossil fuels and would boost moral for society.

but would all this really happen? a plug in car receives electricity that is produced somewhere- and somehow. some states have wind powered generators, hydroelectric power, nuclear power. however- all of the continental US states use coal- except for vermont. and most states receive over 50% of their electrical power from coal plants.

as it has been shown by the wonderful world of science that acid rain is polluting the lakes in the adirondacks. and that is acid rain is coming from the coal plants (not that burning coal produces acid rain- but you know what i mean).

so if everyone- who doesn't live in vermont, started buying these 'plug in' cars, wouldn't it hurt our environment? and that bit about boosting morale? i think litter from passing cars is dirtier than some fumes. but then again, i carry around my own o2 tank. now you know.

um... "it's fun to learn- 'cause knowledge is power"

funny slogans

2005-04-18T21:05:00.000-05:00

because on and on, the tides are going to come
as sure enough, they'll leave again as one
as you and i, we will or won't be here
as sure enough, the angels take their share, but where?

i'm not so sure i think it's fair.

and i'm not so sure i think they care...

funny slogans i heard on tv. only ones i can recall now are the one from thermasilk- "don't blow dry, blow beautiful," and the one from yoplait- "together you and yoplait can lick breast cancer." i do hope that someone got into trouble over that.

oh- and i found a hero in the world. one in australia luckily enough. the trolley man!

get what you pay for

2005-04-15T19:59:00.000-05:00

i was twenty one years when i wrote this song
i'm twenty two now, but i wont be for long
people ask when will you grow up to be a man
but all the girls i loved at school
are already pushing prams

i loved you then as i love you still
though i put you on a pedestal,
they put you on the pill
i don't feel bad about letting you go
i just feel sad about letting you know

i don't want to change the world
i'm not looking for a new england
i'm just looking for another girl
i dont want to change the world
i'm not looking for a new england
i'm just looking for another girl

i loved the words you wrote to me
but that was bloody yesterday
i can't survive on what you send
every time you need a friend

i saw two shooting stars last night
i wished on them but they were only satellites
is it wrong to wish on space hardware?
i wish, i wish, i wish you'd care

what can't billy bragg do? i was reminded today of a great game. if you want to learn how to play you will have to go and look at mattathias' page. his rules will be easier to follow for newbies, because my directions involve shots of scotch. and if there is anything i know about newbies and scotch, it's that they can't learn a new game to save their lives.

my camera came in the mail to-day. and apparently it wasn't $267 liked i had hoped. that price was only for the camera- no battery, no charger, no memory card, no plugs for the tv, no plugs for the computer, no cd-roms. needless to say i called them up and was, of course, put on hold. call me a racist (which i'm not- i am as far from racism as black is from white), but if the hold music is r&b, chances are it is a company full of minorities. either way...

i tell sanchez that their website specified that it came with all aforementioned items for $267- not $689. after much negotiating and his gibberish in some broken english i now have a camera, with all the goods- with and added 128 and 512 megabyte cards and 5 year protection plan, and $100 credited to my card. grand total= $500... and change.

and the sony cybershot dsc-ti is worth every penny. maybe not trying to reason with paco, but outside of that, it is worth it.

and for some reason... this was made. i can't blame you if you only get less than 5.3 seconds into it. it is a terrible spoof of a falsely knighted sir mixalot- and i think you know the song title. but how about it's new name... 'baby got book'

calm as hindu cows

2005-04-12T22:01:00.000-05:00

'will i ever get to where it is that i am going?

will i ever follow through with what i, what i had planned?

i guess it's possible that i have been a bit distracted

and the directions for me are a lot less in demand.

will i ever get to where i'm going?

if i do, will i know when i'm there?

if the wind blew me in the right direction would i even care?

i would.'

from the onset, it looks like spring. spring- the rejuvenate season, the season of birth. and yet the... end... of another season. spring- the undoer, ruinator, destructor of winter. i would not be so kind as to welcome it. as it ripens the seeds fall to ensure another cycle.

the royal astronomical society has just met to see about what kind of super expensive telescope that the e.u. should build. there is the TMT (thirty meter telescope), OWL (overwhelmingly large telescope), and ELT (extremely large telescope). i know, i know- it does sound made up, but for reallies- check it out. now- good idea or bad idea? these things cost a lot of money to build. but something else makes me wonder- we (i say we, sure it is a collective pluralization of mankind, but that it is mankind making it. oh... and for you feminists, humankind. man!) are so concerned about what might be in the outer celestial parts of space and its goings on, what planet has ice, what planet has veggies, what planet if full of apes, and what planet we can send mexicans too; but what i want to know is, do we really need to broaden our scopes out to space when we can take that money and perhaps build a giant microscope and fix the crap we started here before we take it to other planets? i think i just ranted.

oh and what about sammy hahnemann? he started that whole homeopathy hubub. 'fight like with like,' he said. this makes me laugh. because, no one except for matt might know this, but... there are a band of people in the middle east, in the Empty Quarter, the Bedouin actually, and before they started to settle in the markaz (which the governments have built) where they received medicine- they used to burn themselves. so like- there is a burning in my esophagus, and sticking a hot poker down there does the same thing- has to cure it! though i know that is not what homeopathy deals with, it still makes me laugh.

lately i have been feeling a bunch different. it is the whole change thing- i hope i can hold out until february. oh- and about that terrible phone call i made, i got a raise. and i make more than anyone in the warehouse. i should have placed that call so much earlier.

oh... and i was unofficially invited to the Canada trip. and if anyone else is going- this is the year if ever there were a year to go. i've been told by an inside source that we are going earlier this year- before it starts to get a bit too cold. not that a little cold would stop me, not even a lot of cold could do that. but- it is the last year i will be state side for a while- if ever again. i am deporting my butt soon. so get scotty to bring his drink, and rew to polish that croquet set, and get your invitation!

movies

2005-04-10T20:58:00.000-05:00

just some movies i need to see before the year is up:

in no particular order.

around the bend
ong bak
dear frankie
bigger than the sky
kung fu hustle
kicking and screaming
layer cake
bad news bears
the chronicles of narnia
wallace and gromit
robots
kingdom of heavn
mr. and mrs. smith
the island
rory oshea was here
unleashed
millions
ringer
house of d
swimming up stream
upside of anger
green butchers
weatherman
warriors of heaven and earth
imaginary heroes
pink panther
hitchhikers guide to the galaxy
batman begins
charlie and the chocolate factory
duma
a very long engagement

on many a thing

2005-04-06T20:18:00.000-05:00

good-day sunlight
i'd like to say how truely bright you are
you don't know me, but i know you, see- you are my favorite star.

if my days were not long enough as they were, spring and the- vernal equinox, i believe, have now made it longer. good news for the plan to get to the U of E- i have found many an odd job, and tax return to help finance me. there are a few things left to get; camera down, just lappy and plane ticket left. what fun this will be. so please be kind to pray that i get there- and that they will let me stay.

guess what happened to-day? i made fun of cops... right to their faces, and they laughed. here is how it all 'went down.' i was extremely hungry, so i went to the first subway that i could find. as i was standing in line- in walk two po-pos. the nice indian lady from behind the counter asked me what kind of sub should she make for me. i told her, 'um... a ham one... with some bacon... actually anything that came from a pig put on. oh- hello officers, i was... just kidding.' then they both laughed, shockingly yet thankfully at the same time. upon reading the letters of the logo on my work shirt, they asked me if i worked for Norwalk- and i said, 'well... not anymore!'

my co-worker noticed that everyone behind the counter was of middle eastern descent. and he mentions to me that it must be hard for them to serve a bunch of white devils like me (which is probably a bad thing to do, because though i am not racist, i can get racsy). so i reminded him that they like money, and since i make twice as much as they do, they should be happy i come by. sure- it was over the top, but if you heard it, you would have laughed.

oh- and later victor, my co-worker, says that he notices that in the upper philly area that there are a lot of ugly women, at least women that are not all that attractive. he then ends with, "i guess i just have high standards." i then reminded him that his girlfriend isn't all that beautiful- in fact i said that i believe that she fell from the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down, only to fall in a freshly raked pile of ugly tree leaves and then beaten by beautiful children wielding ugly sticks. needless to say- he got upset. it was all in good fun i say- even though she isn't all that pretty.

i'll write something more serious next time.

favonian winds bring us spring

2005-04-02T23:01:00.000-05:00

"it’s 3 a.m.
and i’m up again
answering the call of all
the flowers by the bed
make me wish my head
was lying and possessed by truth alone a certain home
a wooden gate, a rabbit hole
we’ll turn around it won’t be long
capture that place, won’t it be fun"

to-day was very productive. i did the laundry, cleaned my room, learned about a great many things, and then had dinner with tina and frankie. we went to the coopersburgh diner. the food was really good, and our waitress was really nice, but i couldn't help notice how unprofessional that place was- but it is a diner after all. tina thinks i hate that place- but i would go again.

on my drive home, the ipod was playing all the songs a soul like mine needs to hear. the second greatest invention ever made. it was rainy all day (which i love), and yet i stole a look out my window. the clouds had just enough opening that i saw a few stars. and for some reason i felt awed, and particularly small at the same time. lately i have been feeling a change coming. and usually when i feel this way, a huge change comes. everytime i feel this way i am uprooted and placed in a new place. i do believe i will be going to Australia. i was tossing around the idea of going to the University of Melbourne for philosophy. i do have some things to work out first. i need to pay off a debt or two, get a laptop- thinking the apple, and a digital camera. not much else i can think of.

now i need to work on a list of who is going to visit.

blessings.

April Fools Mother F*&%$@s

2005-04-01T16:33:00.000-05:00

"what i'm looking for cannot be sold to me.
i wish they all would stop trying
cause' what i want and what i need,
is and will always be free."

well, if you are still here, you might want to leave. heck- everyone else avoided me to-day. which could have been a damn shame- it's that time of year again where jerks like me make a laughing stock out of your arse. and spare me that silly, "at others expense" crap. i didn't see anyone else up late at night figure out how i was gonna get everyone.

as the day started, no one- absolutely no one was at work to-day, not until a few hours after we opened. this normally bothers me because they are all salary- however, it only bothered me to-day as i got to work 2 hours early to set up some great pranks. all in all, the day was very long for some individuals.

now i am off to go outside and play with bailey- a puppy i visit often. we play frisbee for hours when it is nice outside. no foolin.

and i should thank Rew and Matt for letting me see their blogdospot so that you can now waste your time looking at mine.

ps happy belated birthday Kris Werner and Carly Baum

I was hungry and you held the end of my spoon

2005-03-31T22:52:00.000-05:00

great lyrics from a great song:

mothers and children
all around on a monday morning
the air is cool and clear
i am too alone to be part of this suburban scene
i am just an observer here
sitting here thinking, "is this my inheritance?"
this dusty Gypsy atmosphere
this dust i'm breathing in is someone else's skin not mine
i grew up far from here.
~Jason Harrod

tonight i sifted through some pages, some guinness and some tunes. all in accordance to what i thought was best. lately i have been poked by my provoking life.

oh- i'm sorry, let me introduce myself. bill. there... no i don't suppose that will do at all, will it? William James McKinstry IV, 24, male, 5'8"ish, filled with a laugh that was stolen from the devil. oh- and add my insatiable appetite for vengeance. and unkempt hair atop an ageless face.

moving on...

this is the beginning. i suppose much will be typed here- every so often. and don't bother looking for any capitalized letters- they will be too far and few between. it seems that you just can't buy a decent keyboard anymore.

1990-04-02T13:54:00.000-05:00

just that old